(Notting Hill,1999)

채널 고정해주세요
곧 이어…

 

할리웃의 흥행보증수표인

 

안나 스콧과의 인터뷰가 있겠습니다

 

안나 스콧의 새 영화가…

 

♪♪

 

그녀는 내게 잊지 못할 얼굴일 수도
♪ She may be the face I can't forget ♪

 

기쁨 또는 후회의 흔적일 수도 있죠
♪ The trace of pleasure or regret ♪

 

내 보물일 수도, 치뤄야할
♪ May be my treasure or the price ♪

 

대가 일수도 있어요
♪ I have to pay ♪

 

그녀는 내 꿈이 반사된
♪ She may be the mirror ♪

 

거울일 수도 있고
♪ Of my dream ♪

 

개울에 비친 미소일 수도 있죠
♪ A smile reflected in a stream ♪

 

그녀의 속내는
♪ She may not be what she may seem ♪

 

겉과 다를 수도 있어요
♪ Inside her shell♪

 

그녀는 사람들 속에 늘 행복해 보이고
♪ She who always seems so happy in a crowd ♪

 

그 눈빛은 비밀스럽고 자신감에 차 있지만
♪ Whose eyes can be so private and so proud ♪

 

그녀의 눈물은 아무도 보지 못하죠
♪ No one's allowed to see them when they cry ♪

 

그녀는 끝까지 못다한 사랑일 수도 있고
♪ She may be the love that cannot hope to last
♪
노팅 힐

 

과거의 그늘에서 벗어나 내게 올지도
몰라요
♪ May come to me from shadows of the past ♪

 

죽을 때까지 기억할
♪ That I'll remember till the day ♪

 

그 과거에서
♪ I die ♪

 

그녀는 내가 사는 이유일지 몰라요
♪ She may be the reason I survive ♪

 

그녀가 있기 때문에 내가 있고
♪ The why and wherefore I'm alive ♪

 

좋거나 나쁠 때도 내가 돌봐 줄
♪ The one I'll care for through the rough ♪

 

사람일 수도 있죠
♪ And ready years ♪

 

난 그녀의 웃음과 눈물을 가져다
♪ Me, I'll take her laughter and her tears ♪

 

내 기념품으로 삼겠어요
♪ And make them all my souvenirs ♪

 

그녀가 가는 곳에 나도 있겠어요
♪ For where she goes I've got to be ♪

 

내 삶의 의미는 바로
♪ The meaning of my life is ♪

 

그녀에요
♪ She ♪

 

그녀
♪ She ♪

 

바로 그녀죠
♪ Oh, she ♪♪

 

그녀의 영화를 본 적이 있고

 

난 팬으로서 그녀를 흠모한다

 

하지만 노팅힐과 할리웃은
거리가 너무 멀다

 

런던의 노팅힐…

 

주중엔 시장이 선

 

바나나 5파운드!

 

술김에 문신을 새기곤

 

후회 하는 남자

 

양배추 인형 꼴을 하고

 

미장원을 나서는 사람…

 

주말이 되면

 

수많은 노점상들이
노팅힐 게이트에 이르는

 

포토벨로 거리를 꽉 메운채

 

골동품을 판다

 

가짜가 섞인…

 

이곳엔 내 친구가 많다

 

건축가 토니는 요리사로 전업

 

최근 식당을 냈다

 

내 삶의 터전인 이 마을

 

저 파란 대문 집이 나의 집이다

 

아내는 해리슨 포드를 닮은

 

건달과 달아났다

 

난 괴짜 친구와 살고 있다

 

스파이크?

 

중요한 결정을 해야돼, 도와줘!

 

뭔데? 제 3세계의 부채탕감문제?

 

재닌과 데이트를 하게 됐어

 

뭘 입어야 될까?

 

- 어떤 게 있는데
- 잠깐만

 

난 피가 좋아
우선 이거… 세련 됐지?

 

글쎄… 별로 낭만적이진 못하군

 

알았어

 

낭만하면 또 딱 좋은 게 있지

 

요거 너 가져
그건 진실해 뵈질 않아

 

알았어, 하나만 더!

 

이건 진실해 보이지?

 

당신은 가장 아름다워요
그래, 그게… 좋겠다

 

좋아, 고마워

 

- 행운을 빌어줘
- 행운을 빌어

 

그 평범한 수요일이

 

내 인생을 바꿀 줄은

 

그날 출근길엔 상상도 못했다

 

난 여행전문서점을 운영한다

 

- 안녕, 마티
- 안녕, 사장

 

여행전문서적은

 

솔직히 별로 많이 팔리질 않는다

 

역시군…
이달의 이윤 총액은

 

347파운드 적자야

 

카푸치노 뽑아줄까?

 

- 두통에 좋아
- 좋지

 

반잔만 뽑아줘
돈이 없으니까

 

알았어
반잔 대령합죠

 

뭘 사시게요?

 

아뇨, 그냥 보는 거예요

 

네

 

그 책은 별로예요

 

그 책 사시는 건 돈 낭비예요

 

터키에 관심있으면

 

이 책을 보세요

 

묘사가 아주 생생해요

 

재미있는 일화도 많죠

 

케밥에 관한 얘기랑…

 

생각해보죠

 

아니면 더 큰 판형의…

 

미안합니다
잠깐만요

 

이봐요

 

- 네?
- 나쁜 소식이요

 

- 뭐가요?
- 여기 감시카메라가 있소

 

- 그래서요?
- 책 감추는거 봤어요

 

- 무슨 책이요?
- 바지 속에 숨긴 책

 

책 안숨겼어요

 

그럼

 

경찰을 부릅시다

 

책이 없으면 내가 정중히 사과하죠

 

만약 바지 속에 책이 있으면요?

 

내가 비켜줄테니

 

책을 도로 갖다 놓든가

 

책값을 내요

 

잠시 후 봅시다

 

미안합니다

 

괜찮아요

 

나도 훔치려했는데 안되겠네요

 

저자 서명이 있군요

 

네

 

이 사람은 자기 책에 다 서명해요

 

실례합니다

 

- 네
- 사인 좀…

 

그러죠

 

- 어…
- 여기…

 

- 성함이?
- 루퍼스요

 

뭐라고 썼어요?

 

'루퍼스, 당신은 철창감이야'

 

멋지네요

 

- 제 연락처 드릴까요?
- 아니요

 

사양할래요

 

이걸로 할게요

 

네, 그러세요

 

이 책도 나쁘진 않아요

 

괜찮은 책이죠

 

케밥 얘긴 사실 유치하죠

 

아, 그리고

 

한권 그냥 드릴게요

 

포장지나 불쏘시개로

 

유용할거예요

 

- 고마워요
- 뭘요

 

카푸치노 대령이요

 

고마워

 

방금 누가 왔었게?

 

누군데?
유명한 사람?

 

- 아냐, 아냐
- 아냐?

 

유명 인사가 오면 신날텐데

 

있잖아
나 예전에 한번

 

링고 스타를 봤어

 

- 어디서?
- 켄싱턴 거리…

 

'지붕위의 바이올린'의

 

- 토피와 비슷도 하고…
- 토폴!

 

맞아, 그래, 토폴

 

음 …

 

링고는 토폴하고 딴판이야

 

멀어서 잘 못봤어

 

둘 다 아닐 수도 있겠군

 

그럴지도 몰라

 

- 별 거 아니네
- 그래, 아냐…

 

- 또 있나?
- 응… 아니!

 

찐하게 쥬스나 마실까?

 

- 고마워, 갈게
- 이따 봐

 

- 이런
- 젠장!

 

- 맙소사
- 죄송합니다

 

- 닦아드…
- 이 손 치워요

 

미안해요
길 건너 우리집에 가서

 

물로 좀 씻어요

 

차를 가져와야 되는데…

 

전화도 있어요

 

5분이면 됩니다

 

이상하게 오해하진 마세요

 

길 건너면 정확히

 

- 몇 야드쯤 되죠?
- 18야드요

 

저 파란 문이예요

 

잠깐만요

 

들어오세요

 

평소엔 더 깨끗한데…

 

욕실은 2층이고

 

전화는 저기 있어요

 

가방 여기 둘게요

 

모퉁이를 돌면 돼요

 

바보

 

어!

 

어…

 

차 한 잔 하실래요?

 

- 아뇨
- 커피?

 

- 아뇨
- 쥬스?

 

그건 싫겠죠?
찬 음료수는?

 

음…

 

콜라나 물?

 

들척지근한 가짜 과즙음료는?

 

- 아뇨
- 뭘 좀 드실래요?

 

요기할거요

 

꿀에 절인 살구?

 

이런 걸 내가 왜 샀나 몰라요

 

차라리 꿀을 살걸

 

살구맛은 안나고 꿀맛만 나요

 

어쨌든

 

좀 드셔볼래요?

 

아뇨

 

'아뇨' 밖엔 몰라요?

 

아뇨

 

이제 가볼게요

 

고마워요
도와줘서…

 

천만에요

 

이런 말해도 되는지…

 

실물이 훨씬 예쁘시네요

 

그 책 읽으면

 

내 책방에 다신 안올거예요

 

고마워요

 

고맙긴요

 

저기…

 

반가웠어요

 

황당하지만 즐겁네요

 

미안해요

 

'황당해도 즐겁네요?'
바보

 

- 안녕
- 안녕

 

- 가방을 놓고왔어요
- 아, 네

 

고마워요

 

황당… 운운한 거 미안합니다

 

- 실수예요
- 괜찮아요

 

진짜 황당한 건 꿀살구 얘기였어요

 

맙소사
제 친구예요

 

못 말리는 앤데…

 

- 안녕
- 응

 

배고파 죽겠네

 

먹고 나서 오줌 쌀만한 얘기 해줄게

 

이 일은 비밀로 해주세요

 

그러죠, 걱정말아요

 

어차피 나도 못 믿을 얘기니까…

 

- 안녕
- 잘가요

 

이 요구르트 이상해

 

그건 마요네즈야

 

아, 어쩐지…

 

음…

 

오늘 비디오보자

 

죽이는거 빌려왔어

 

- 웃어
- 싫어요

 

- 웃어봐
- 웃을 일이 있어야죠

 

알았어

 

난 7초후

 

당신에게 청혼할거야

 

저 여자랑

 

키스할수 있는 놈은 월매나 좋을까

 

그래, 정말…

 

멋진 여자야

 

- 디킨스 책 있소?
- 아뇨

 

여긴 여행 서적만 취급합니다

 

존 그리샴의 추리물은요?

 

아뇨, 그 책도 소설이잖아요

 

그런가?

 

'곰돌이 푸'있소?

 

마틴! 자네 손님이야

 

뭘 찾으세요?

 

♪♪[Pop]

 

♪ Once in a lifetime ♪

 

안녕

 

안녕

 

궁금해서 묻는 건데

 

왜 그걸 입고 있는거야?

 

이유는 복잡해
입을 옷도 없고…

 

안 빠니까 입을 게 없지

 

악순환의 연속이야

 

네 옷을 뒤지는데

 

이게 있더라고

 

우주인같지?

 

근데 안경알이 이상해

 

돗수가 있는거야

 

- 어쩐지…
- 스쿠버용이야

 

운동 좀 자주 해

 

- 전화 온거 없어?
- 두군데 써놨어

 

두군데 뿐이야?

 

다 적을 순 없잖아

 

누군한테 온걸 안 적어놨는데?

 

이런, 까먹었네

 

참, 네 어머니!
관절염이 도지셨대

 

- 딴 전화는?
- 없었어

 

굳이 물으면 하나 있긴 있지

 

‘안나’라는 미국 여자였어

 

- 뭐래?
- 횡설수설 하더군

 

'안나예요, 리츠로 전화줘요' 하더니

 

다른 이름을 대는거야

 

- 어떤 이름?
- 까먹어버렸어

 

난 이름 못외잖아

 

네, 그녀가

 

가명을 쓴다는거 압니다

 

제 친구가 전화를 받는 통에

 

일이 잘못된거에요

 

아주 바보거든요

 

- 상상이 되세요?
- 그 이상이예요

 

그 몇 배로 멍청한 놈이죠

 

이 멍청이가

 

- 기억을 못 해서…
- '고인돌'인가?

 

- 뭐?
- '고인돌'인것 같얘

 

설마 '고인돌'은 아니죠?

 

- 바꿔드리죠
- 맙소사…

 

안녕하세요! 안녕?

 

- 여보세요?
- 안녕하세요

 

아, 네…

 

- 저 윌리엄 데커입니다
- 네?

 

책방을 운영하는…

 

뜸들였다 전화하는군요

 

아뇨, 전 잔머리 못굴려요

 

친구놈이 안 전해줬어요

 

우리 만나서

 

차나 한잔 같이 할까요?

 

- 4시쯤 시간 나요
- 알았어요, 좋아요

 

- 그럼…
- 안녕…

 

됐어

 

됐어

 

♪♪

 

- 몇 층?
- 3층이요

 

여기 맞아요?

 

네, 맞아요, 네

 

- 저 캐런이예요
- 안녕하세요

 

일정이 늦어지네요

 

- 이리로 오세요
- 건배

 

이쪽으로

 

영화 어땠어요?

 

'클로스 인 카운터'처럼

 

환상적이었어요

 

동감이예요

 

어떤 잡지사랬죠?

 

- '타임아웃'
- 네

 

댁은요?

 

'경마와 사냥'이요

 

'대커'예요
안나와 약속했는데…

 

가서 확인해볼게요

 

꽃을 사왔군요

 

아니…,

 

우리 할머니 드릴거예요

 

요 아래 병원에 입원해 계시거든요

 

많이 편찮으세요

 

오, 그랬군요

 

어떤 병원인데요?

 

그 얘긴 그만합시다

 

가슴 아파요

 

- 많이요
- 알았어요

 

건배

 

대커씨, 이쪽으로

 

네

 

5분이예요

 

- 안녕
- 안녕

 

꽃을 사오긴 했는데…

 

아뇨, 주세요
예쁘네요

 

전화 못해서 미안해요

 

가명 외우기엔 제 친구 머리가 딸려서요

 

다 보안때문이예요
늘 만화주인공의 이름을 쓰죠

 

전엔 '밤비'였어요

 

- 잘 돼가?
- 네, 고마워요

 

'경마와 사냥'지랬죠?

 

- 네
- 좋아요

 

그랬던가요?

 

그럼…

 

빨리 끝내야겠군요

 

좋아요

 

음…

 

영화 좋았습니다

 

헌데 영화장면 속에

 

말을 등장시킬

 

의향은 없으셨나요?

 

의향은 있었지만

 

영화 배경이 우주공간이라서요

 

참, 그렇죠
그럼 힘들죠

 

미안해요

 

밖에서 이걸 주길래…

 

내 탓이예요
일정이 밀려서…

 

그날 키스한거 사과하고 싶었어요

 

내가 왜 그랬는지 모르겠어요

 

실례가 안 됐으면 해서요

 

네, 네
전 괜찮아요

 

여름에 찍을 작품에 대해서도

 

질문을 좀 해줘요

 

그러죠
알겠습니다

 

말이 나오나요?

 

우리 잡지 독자들은 그걸 궁금해 해요

 

배경이 잠수함이예요

 

유감이네요

 

그렇담…

 

만약에 말이 등장한다면

 

그 말을 타실건가요?

 

혹은 스턴트기수를 쓰실건가요?

 

난 머저리예요
미안해요

 

꼭 꿈꾸는 것처럼 어색해요

 

악몽이 아니고

 

좋은 꿈말예요

 

또 만나다니 정말 꿈같아요

 

꿈의 다음 내용은요?

 

다음 내용은 꿈 속에선

 

내 마음대로니까

 

내 성격을 확 뜯어고친 다음에

 

당신에게 다가가

 

키스하는 거예요

 

하지만…

 

시간 됐소
취재 다 했죠?

 

- 네, 거의요
- 한 질문만 더 하시죠

 

- 그래요
- 저…

 

오늘밤에… 바쁘세요?

 

- 네
- 그렇군요

 

- 들어오세요
- 반가웠어요

 

네, 저두요

 

황당해도 즐거웠어요

 

감사합니다
당신은 우리 잡지 최고 스타예요

 

적토마와

 

공동 1위죠

 

잠깐만!
어땠어요?

 

훌륭했어요

 

그래요
할머니 꽃을 뺏겼군요

 

네, 뺏겼어요

 

- 얌체!
- 대커씨

 

시간 있으시면

 

- 딴 배우들도 만나세요
- 딴 배우요?

 

'경마와 사냥' 기자세요

 

- 반갑소
- 저두요

 

앉아요

 

영화 재밌었소?

 

네, 굉장히요

 

- 질문해요
- 네

 

촬영 즐거웠나요?

 

- 물론이죠
- 네

 

특히 언제요?

 

당신이 특히 재밌게 본 장면을

 

한번 얘기해봐요

 

우주…

 

에서의 장면이

 

아주 좋았어요

 

배역에 몰입했었나요?

 

- 아뇨
- 아뇨

 

그건 왜죠?

 

식인로봇 역이었대요

 

그렇군요

 

이게

 

데뷔작이니?

 

아뇨, 22번째예요

 

그래
잊지못할 작품은?

 

레오나르도랑 찍은거요

 

- 다빈치?
- 디카프리오

 

맞아

 

이태리 영화감독말이지?

 

- 대커씨?
- 안돼…

 

- 시간있어요?
- 아뇨

 

안녕

 

안녕

 

저…

 

저녁 행사를 취소했어요

 

영국 최고 경마 전문가와

 

식사약속이 있다고 했죠

 

좋아요

 

잘 됐네요

 

오, 이런!

 

오늘이 내동생 생일이라
저녁먹기로 했는데…

 

- 괜찮아요
- 안 가도 돼요

 

나요, 나도 데려가주세요

 

내 여동생

 

생일 파티에 간다구요?

 

- 괜찮다면요
- 물론 괜찮죠

 

제 친구 맥스가 요리할건데

 

솜씨가 최악이죠

 

맛없으면 가방에 몰래 뱉어도 돼요

 

- 좋아요
- 좋아요

 

- 여자랑 온대?
- 기적도 있는거야

 

- 여자 이름은?
- 말 안하던데?

 

젠장, 다 타겠네

 

맙소사

 

어서와
요리가 엉망이 됐어

 

어서와

 

뿔닭구이 맛이 가관일거야

 

- 뿔닭 구웠어?
- 묻지도 마

 

- 안녕하세요
- 안녕하세요

 

인상이 꼭…

 

여긴 안나야

 

- 그렇군요
- 타진 않았어

 

맥스, 안나야

 

- 안녕하세요
- 반가워요 안나…

 

스콧?
와인 한잔?

 

고마워요

 

내가 갈게

 

레드, 화이트?

 

- 안녕
- 안녕

 

- 생일 축하해
- 고마워

 

오빠가 여자랑 왔어

 

모두 안녕
에구머니!

 

여긴 안나야
내 여동생 하니요

 

안녕

 

이게 꿈은 아니겠죠

 

내 생애 최고의 순간이예요

 

당장 졸도할 것 같아요

 

난 당신을 너무나 열렬히 좋아해요

 

당신은 세상에서 가장 아름다워요

 

내 생각에는, 오래전부터 생각했는데

 

우린 둘도 없는 친구가 될 인연이예요

 

어때요?

 

나야 좋지

 

생일 축하해요

 

선물을 받다니 벌써 친구가 됐네

 

오빠랑 결혼해요
가족되게…

 

생각해보죠

 

버니일거야

 

- 안녕
- 늦어서 미안해

 

일하느라

 

- 회사돈 수백만파운드 날렸어
- 잘했군

 

- 버니, 안나야
- 반가워요

 

- 너…
- 귀여운 하니 생일 축하해

 

- 안녕, 벨라
- 안녕

 

모자야
싫으면 쓰지마

 

- 안녕, 윌리엄
- 어서와

 

안녕

 

- 안녕
- 왜?

 

- 와인 줄까?
- 음…

 

같이 잤냐?

 

천박한 질문하지마
노코멘트야

 

- 예스군
- 아냐

 

- 그럼 혼자 해결해?
- 몰라!

 

- 역시 예스로군
- 이런!

 

그래, 안나
직업이 뭐예요?

 

- 배우예요
- 멋지군요

 

당신은요?

 

증권회사에 다녀요
분야가 다르죠

 

취미로 연극은 해봤어요

 

P.G. 굿 하우스의 익살극따위…

 

'비카, 엎드려!'

 

배우생활 힘들죠?

 

- 보수도 적고…
- 그렇죠

 

내 대학동창 몇 명이 배우인데

 

입에 풀칠만 하고 근근히 살아요

 

비참하죠

 

- 무슨 배우예요?
- 영화를 주로 해요

 

멋지네요
보수는 어때요?

 

지난번 작품은 얼마 받았어요?

 

천오백만달라요

 

네

 

그거…
굉장하군요

 

식사 준비됐어!

 

- 오!
- 좋아!

 

- 벨라, 화장실이…?
- 아… 그게

 

- 오, 복도 끝에 있어요
- 안내할게요

 

빨리 말해

 

안나 스콧이 웬일이야?

 

- 안나 스콧?
- 그래

 

- 대스타?
- 쉬!

 

- 맙소사
- 왜?

 

- 오, 하나님
- 말 실수했어?

 

내가 안나와 화장실에 가다니…

 

안나가 바지지퍼를 내리는 것도 봤어

 

- 말하느라 정신이 없어서…
- 이런

 

첫눈에 알아봤어?

 

이 형광등!

 

난 전혀 몰랐다가 지금 알았어

 

- 뿔닭 어때요?
- 전 채식주의자예요

 

어머나…

 

뿔닭 어땠어요?

 

너무 맛있었어요

 

♪ It's amazing how you ♪

 

♪ Can speak
right to my heart ♪

 

♪ Without saying a word ♪

 

♪ You can light up
the dark ♪

 

♪ Try as I may
I can never explain ♪

 

♪ What I hear when you
don't say a thing ♪♪

 

안나가 이 자리에 함께 있으니까

 

우리가 더 초라해지네

 

- 맞아
- 좌절할 건 없어

 

우리도 긍지를 갖자고

 

가장 팔자 나쁜 사람한테

 

케익을 상으로 주지

 

- 우!
- 버니

 

그래, 내가 제일 한심해

 

난 능력이 없다고

 

직장에서 구박받고

 

사춘기 이후 여자친구 하나 없어

 

아무도 날 안 좋아해

 

살찌면 더 하겠지

 

- 난 자기가 좋아
- 정말?

 

응, 살만 빼면…

 

넌 그래도 나아

 

너는 월급이라도 제대로 받지

 

하니는 음반가게에서 일하고

 

주급 20펜스밖에 못받아

 

게다가 머리털은 개털같고

 

눈은 붕어처럼 튀어나왔지
못된 남자만 좋아하지

 

가슴은 쪼그라드니

 

누가 데려 가겠어

 

- 슬픈 일이군
- 하지만

 

안나랑 친구잖아

 

맞아, 내가 제일 좋다니 어쩌겠어

 

넌 몸도 건강해

 

난 늘 휠체어에 매여있어

 

게다가 더 힘든 건

 

담배를 피우면 안 된다는 거지

 

그리고 이젠

 

아기도 가질 수 없게 됐어

 

벨라

 

그게 인생이야

 

그래도 난 운이 좋은 거야

 

어쨌든 빵은 내꺼지?

 

속단은 일러
윌리엄은 어쩌고?

 

- 장사는 죽쑤지
- 맞아

 

이혼했지
핸섬했던 인물도 삭았지

 

쟤 별명이 '헐렝이'란걸

 

- 안나가 알면
- 절교할 걸?

 

그 말을 왜 해?

 

아무튼 고마워
케익은 내꺼지?

 

그래

 

잠깐만, 난요?

 

당신도 후보라는 거예요?

 

기회는 줘봐야죠

 

1등 못하면 절대 케익 양보못해요

 

난 19살때부터 다이어트했어요

 

십년간 굶주린 셈이죠

 

남자에게 상처도 많이 받았죠
맞은 적도 있어요

 

내가 상처받을 때마다

 

신문은 신나게 떠들어요

 

내가 예뻐진 건 두 번의 고통스런

 

수술덕분이구요

 

- 정말요?
- 정말이요

 

얼마후면 내 아름다움은 시들 거고

 

인기도 한물 가고

 

그럼 난 퇴물배우로

 

사람들 뇌리에서
영원히 사라져버리겠죠

 

아무도 안 속아요

 

그럼

 

케익 못 내놔요

 

- 정말 즐거웠어요
- 우리두요

 

- 넥타이 멋져요
- 거짓말

 

난 연기 못하잖아요

 

- 반가웠어요
- 나두요

 

채식주의자란 건 비밀로 해줄게요

 

- 설마
- 아!

 

- 안녕
- 아까 화장실에선 미안했어요

 

나갈려고 했는데…

 

쇼핑 같이 가요

 

싼데 많이 알아요
하긴 당신이야…

 

즐거웠어요

 

- 생일 축하해요, 멋쟁이 아가씨
- 고마워요

 

- 한번만 더
- 아…

 

- 고마워요
- 그만 해

 

- 안녕히 계세요
- 잘가요

 

맥스, 벨라 연락할게

 

- 고마워, 연락들 하고
- 잘들 가요

 

- 잘가요, 안나
- 팬이예요

 

안녕

 

미안해요
신경쓸 거 없어요

 

주책들

 

- '헐렝이'?
- 머리모양 탓이예요

 

- 음
- 어떻게 좀 해야겠어요

 

벨라는 왜 다쳤죠?

 

18개월 전쯤 사고를 당했어요

 

- 불임도 사고 탓인가요?
- 모르겠어요

 

진작 애나 낳지…

 

우리 집에 가서

 

차나 한잔…?

 

그럼 복잡해져요

 

알았어요

 

내일 바빠요?

 

- 내일 떠나잖아요?
- 바꿨어요

 

여긴 거리마다 정원이 있어요

 

- 작은 동네같죠
- 들어가봐요

 

개인 소유지라

 

외부인은 못들어가요

 

늘 법을 준수해요?

 

아뇨, 다른 사람들은 그렇죠

 

난 늘 내 마음대로 살아요

 

어디…

 

에구머니!

 

방금 뭐랬어요?

 

- 뭘요?
- 뭐랬냐구요

 

- 아무말도…
- '에구머니'래 놓고…

 

그런 말 요즘 누가 써요?

 

맞아요
옛날에 쓰던 말이죠

 

여자애나 그런 말 썼다고요

 

그래요
다시 해봅시다

 

에구머니!

 

실컷 놀려요
이 말투는 내 불치병이에요

 

약 먹을 시간인데…

 

- 비켜봐요
- 위험할텐데…

 

쉬운 게 아니예요

 

안 된대도요
쉽군, 보기보다…

 

자…

 

와요, 헐렁이씨

 

좋아요

 

어디…

 

이런…

 

이거 위험한데?

 

이런, 망할…

 

고생해서 들어와봤자 볼 것도 없죠?

 

♪♪

 

♪ It's amazing how you ♪

 

♪ Can speak
right to my heart ♪

 

잘 왔네요

 

♪ Without saying a word ♪

 

♪ You can light up the dark ♪

 

♪ Try as I may
I can never explain ♪

 

♪ What I hear
when you don't say a thing ♪

 

♪ You say it best ♪
♪ You say it best ♪

 

♪ When you say nothing
at all ♪

 

'이곳에 쥰과 조셉은

 

늘 함께 있었노라'

 

부럽네요
평생 동반자…

 

♪ People talking out loud ♪

 

♪ But when you hold me near ♪
♪ When you hold me near ♪

 

♪ You drown out the crowd ♪
♪ Out the crowd♪

 

내 옆에 앉아요

 

♪ What's been said
between your heart and mine ♪

 

♪ The smile on your face lets
me know that you need me ♪

 

♪ There's a truth
in your eyes ♪

 

이런, 이런

 

- 안경 못 봤어?
- 아니, 못 봤어

 

이런 젠장할…

 

잘 있던 안경이

 

영화 보러 갈땐 꼭 사라져

 

인생은 잔인한거야

 

극동의 지진이나 전립선 암처럼?

 

지금 농담이 나와?

 

친구라고 도움이 안 돼

 

고맙다
안경 찾았어?

 

- 대충…
- 잘 됐군

 

♪♪

 

♪♪

 

♪ Oh, the smile on your face lets
me know that you need me ♪

 

♪ There's a truth
in your eyes ♪

 

♪ Saying
you'll never leave me ♪

 

♪ The touch of your hand says you'll
catch me wherever I fall ♪♪

 

누가 떠난 거죠?

 

- 아내 가요
- 왜요?

 

- 내 속을 읽었거든요
- 아!

 

안됐네요

 

안나 스콧은 섹시해

 

저번 영화는 형편없더군

 

영화야 어떻든

 

난 안나만 나오면돼

 

난 그런 타입 싫어
귀여운 금발이 좋지

 

누구더라?

 

식당에서 뿅간 시늉하던…

 

맥 라이언

 

걘 매력 없어

 

안나의 매력은 그 신비한 눈이야

 

약에 쩔어있어서 그래

 

어쨌든 걘 화끈해

 

다른 여자들은 내숭떨지만

 

걘 내놓고 밝히거든

 

여배우의 어원이

 

매춘부란 말에서 나온 거 알아?

 

확실한 얘기야?

 

안나가 대표적인 예지

 

아무나 데리고 놀 수 있다고

 

- 못 참겠군
- 신경 쓰지 마세요

 

실례 좀 합시다

 

- 저기요
- 무슨 일이요?

 

당신들 얘기를 들었소

 

댁들같은 속물이야

 

재미로 씹겠지만

 

그녀 역시 엄연한 인격체요

 

입조심들 해요

 

꺼져
네가 걔 오빠야?

 

- 미안해요
- 아니예요

 

전엔 나도 화를 냈었죠, 잠깐…

 

안녕하세요

 

- 오, 맙소사
- 친구 대신 사과할게요

 

- 좀 예민해요
- 괜찮아요

 

악감정이 있어서 그런 거 아니니까요

 

열등감 때문에 그런 걸테니까…

 

댁들 물건은 땅콩만하죠?
식사 맛있게 하세요

 

참치 샌드위치 맛있던데요!

 

괜한 짓 했어요
후회돼요

 

- 잘했어요
- 난 바보예요

 

우리 왜 만나는거죠?

 

잘 모르겠어요

 

나도 그래요

 

다 왔어요

 

네

 

- 저기…
- 올라갈래요?

 

올라가면 문제가 복잡해질텐데…

 

복잡해지겠죠

 

올라갈래요?

 

5분만 기다려요

 

- 안녕
- 안녕

 

꿈을 꾸는 것 같아요

 

- 가세요
- 왜요?

 

미국에서 내 애인이 갑자기 찾아왔어요

 

- 애인?
- 네

 

- 누구야?
- 저기…

 

- 그게
- 룸서비스입니다

 

안녕하쇼?
펭귄 옷을 안 입으셨네?

 

근무가 끝나서

 

퇴근하던 참에

 

혹시…
시키실 일이 있나 해서요

 

그래요?
마침 잘 됐군

 

찬 물 좀 갖다주겠소?

 

알겠습니다

 

- 탄산수는 말고…
- 네, 냉수요

 

이 나라는 냉수도
영국인들만큼

 

뜨뜬미지근하진 않겠지

 

- 물론이죠
- 고맙소

 

저 접시와 쓰레기도 치워주겠소?

 

- 어…
- 그러죠

 

아녜요, 관둬요

 

그건 이분 일이 아녜요

 

오, 미안
이름이 뭐요?

 

버니요

 

자요, 버니

 

고맙소, 가봐요

 

자기…

 

내가 온 게 반가워, 안 반가워?

 

- 반갑죠
- 거짓말

 

놀랬나봐
뭐 먹을 거야?

 

- 어?
- 뭘 시킬건데?

 

못 정했어요

 

너무 많이 시키지마

 

뚱보되면 곤란해

 

가볼게요

 

현실은 잔인하군요

 

미안해요

 

무슨 말을…

 

해야 될지

 

음…

 

그냥

 

'잘가요' 한마디면 돼요

 

♪♪

 

♪I can think of younger days ♪

 

♪ When living for my life ♪

 

♪ Was everything ♪

 

♪ A man could want to do ♪

 

♪ I could never see ♪

 

♪ Tomorrow ♪

 

♪ I was never told ♪

 

♪ About the sorrow ♪

 

♪ And ♪

 

♪ How can you mend ♪

 

♪ A broken heart ♪

 

♪ How can you stop the rain
from falling down ♪

 

♪ Tell me how can you stop ♪

 

♪ That old sun from shining ♪

 

♪ What makes the world ♪

 

♪ Go round ♪

 

얘기해봐

 

털어놔봐

 

난 네 친구야

 

네 고뇌의 한숨이 여기까지 느껴져

 

고백해
얘기해봐

 

- 여자때문이야
- 아하!

 

어쩐지 여자냄새가 나더라

 

계속하게, 친구

 

그녀는 내가

 

가질 수 없는 여자야

 

하지만 내 마음을 빼앗겨버렸어

 

판도라의 상자를 연 것 같아

 

을…

 

그래

 

심각하군

 

심각해

 

판도라라는 내 동창이 있는데

 

난 걔랑 못 자봤어

 

관둬

 

말한 내가 바보지

 

애인 있는 거 몰랐어?

 

전혀, 왜?

 

너희는 알았어?

 

말도 안 돼

 

연예기사 안본 탓에 사람 바보되는군

 

애초에 승산없는 게임이었어

 

안나는 여신이야

 

인간이 여신을 넘보면…

 

- 신세 망치나?
- 아는군

 

하지만 기운내
해결책이 있어

 

- 정말?
- 테사라고

 

내 동료야

 

머리는 꼽슬꼽슬하지만

 

똑똑하고 키스도 잘해

 

잘한대

 

노력해봐

 

집을 못찾아 헤맸어요

 

어디가 어딘지…

 

켄싱턴 가든
켄싱턴 파크…

 

- 내 아내 벨라야
- 안녕하세요

 

- 휠체어 타셨네?
- 그래요

 

이쪽은 윌리엄

 

- 안녕하세요
- 안녕

 

- 얘기 많이 들었어요
- 그래요?

 

뒤로 호박씨 깐다면서요?

 

- 와인?
- 좋아요

 

실컷 취해봅시다

 

- 레드, 화이트?
- 레드!

 

케자야

 

- 고기 좀 들어요
- 난 과일주의자예요

 

아…

 

과일주의자가 뭐죠?

 

식물도 감정이 있기 때문에

 

전 요리를 안해요

 

저절로 떨어진 과일만 먹죠

 

이미 죽은 거니까…

 

아, 그렇군요

 

그럼…

 

이 당근은…

 

- 살해된 거죠
- 살해요?

 

가엾은 당근…

 

끔직하군…

 

커피 맛있네요

 

요리 형편없었죠?

 

아니예요, 맛이…
특이하던데요?

 

못 먹겠더란 뜻이죠?

 

네, 솔직히 그래요

 

다시 만날까요?

 

네, 좋아요

 

그래요

 

안녕

 

어때?

 

완벽해

 

너무 완벽해

 

그런데?

 

너희는 중요한 걸 잊고 있어

 

남녀의 사랑이 서로 일치하기란

 

어려운거야

 

날 봐
그 배우말고도

 

두 여자한테 차였어

 

- 그건 달라
- 아냐, 아내는 결혼직후

 

날 떠났고

 

또 한 여자는 날 버리고

 

자네를 택했지

 

- 난 널 사랑해
- 친구로서 말야?

 

남자로는 안 느껴져

 

맙소사

 

너 많이 좋아했어

 

귀여웠지만 솔직히 유치했어

 

난 희망이 없어

 

평생 홀애비꼴 못 면할거야

 

- 자고 갈래?
- 그러지 뭐

 

스파이크 꼴도 보기 싫고…

 

가자

 

- 잘 자
- 내일 봐

 

- 다녀올게
- 그래

 

이 사람은 유죄로군

 

동감이야

 

적나라한 사진 안나의 과거!

 

안녕

 

들어가도 돼요?

 

들어와요

 

옛날에 찍은거예요

 

난 가난했고

 

그런 일들은 흔히 있었죠

 

변명같지만…

 

일이 꼬이려고

 

돈받고 찍은 것처럼

 

얘기가 와전됐어요

 

장난삼아 찍었던 사진이

 

포르노가 됐어요

 

사방에 그 사진들이

 

쫙 깔리고

 

갈 곳이 없었어요

 

호텔도 난리예요

 

몇 달만에 불쑥 와서…

 

잘 왔어요

 

고마워요

 

이틀 예정으로

 

런던에 왔는데

 

빨리 뜨고 싶어요

 

사진이 너무 천하고 저속해요

 

마치 내가…

 

사진 생각은 잊어요

 

방법이 있겠죠

 

뭐 마실래요? 차?

 

목욕할래요?

 

목욕이 좋겠어요

 

이건 예술이야

 

죽이네! 환상적이야!

 

황홀 자체야!

 

스파이크씨죠?

 

- 안녕
- 그냥

 

확인해 봤어요

 

주님, 감사합니다

 

저번엔 미안했어요

 

- 아…
- 제프가 갑자기 와서…

 

- 괜찮아요
- 또 올줄은 몰랐거든요

 

할리웃 대스타의

 

접시를 치워주는 건

 

일생의 영광이죠

 

그 분 잘 있죠?

 

몰라요

 

그를 왜 만났는지조차 기억이 안나요

 

당신은 누굴 만났어요?

 

늘 그렇죠

 

얘기할게 없어요

 

당신 생각했어요

 

- 어…
- 난 웬지

 

남처럼 평범하게

 

뭔가 해보려고 하면

 

꼭 일이 꼬여요

 

잘 풀릴 날도 있겠죠

 

그거 대본이예요?

 

내주부터 촬영해요

 

대사 같이 읽어줄까요?

 

정말요?
대사가 많은데…

 

줘봐요

 

줄거리는 뭐죠?

 

난 똑똑한 위관장교인데

 

핵으로부터 지구를 구하죠

 

근사하군요

 

'HK를 요청할까요?'

 

'아니, KFT회항전에

 

레이다를 점검시켜'

 

'국방성에 블랙스타 지원요청해'

 

'내 실수 얘기하면 혼날 줄 알아'

 

- '네, 곧 타전하죠'
- '고맙네'

 

- 대사 몇 개 틀렸죠?
- 열한개

 

- 젠장… '웨인라이트'
- '카트라이트'

 

'카트라이트든 누구든'

 

'생일날 늦겠다고
지미한테 전화해줘'

 

'네'… '조니'
예요

 

- 내 아들 이름이?
- 네

 

- '어쨌든 전화해'
- '통화가 될지

 

모르겠군요'

 

카트라이트 퇴장

 

- 어때요?
- 재밌네요

 

헨리 제임스의 작품만은
못 해도 재밌어요

 

- 제임스 작품 좋아해요?
- 당신과 잘 맞아요

 

어쨌든 이 작가도 훌륭하네요

 

제임스의 작품들은

 

너무 멜로 아닌가요?

 

아닌 것도 있어요

 

샤갈 그림 액자네요

 

샤갈 좋아해요?

 

좋아해요
사랑은 저런거죠

 

하늘을 나는 느낌

 

바이올린 켜는 염소랑?

 

네

 

염소가 빠지면 의미가 없죠

 

발이 크네요

 

네, 원래 컸어요

 

발 큰 남자는 뭐가 크게요?

 

글쎄요, 뭔데요?

 

발이 크면…

 

신발이… 크죠

 

작품계약서엔 신체노출 조항이 있어요

 

정말 그런 게 있어요?

 

그럼요
'엉덩이는 일부만 노출할 수 있다'

 

'대역 엉덩이를 쓸 땐'

 

'자문을 구해야 한다'

 

- 대역도 써요?
- 네

 

- 쓸 수도 있다 이거죠
- 실물보다

 

- 멋진 걸 쓰겠네요?
- 그렇겠죠

 

이왕이면…

 

엉덩이 대역은
직업을 뭐라고 하죠?

 

'멜 깁슨의 엉덩이'?

 

멜은 대역 안써요

 

- 네
- 왜요?

 

- 쓸 필요가 없죠
- 끝내줘요

 

아이스크림이?
멜 엉덩이가?

 

둘다요, 똑같이…

 

엉덩이도 핥아봤어요?

 

이게 낫네요

 

솜털도 없고…

 

참…

 

시트 갈아놨어요

 

오늘 즐거웠어요

 

덕분에 기분이 좋아졌어요

 

고마워요

 

시간 됐어요

 

침실에 들…

 

난 소파에 눕고…

 

잘 자요

 

잘 자요

 

오, 하나님

 

누구요?

 

나야

 

- 스파이크
- 긴히 할 말이 있어

 

- 말해봐
- 방해하려는 건 아닌데

 

안나는 자기 애인과 헤어졌잖아, 그치?

 

- 그런데?
- 이 집 안에 있고

 

- 그래서?
- 너랑 잘 통하지?

 

- 그래
- 그럼 이건 절호의

 

찬스잖아

 

같이 자!

 

미쳤냐?
잠이나 자

 

싫으면 관둬라

 

- 내가 꼬실까?
- 스파이크!

 

- 알았어
- 내일 얘기하자

 

알았어
그때 되면 늦겠지만…

 

제발 좀 꺼져줘

 

- 알았어요
- 아녜요

 

잠깐만요…
당신인줄 몰랐어요

 

스파이크 놈인줄 알고…

 

와우

 

왜요?

 

아무 것도…

 

꿈만 같아요

 

당신의 벗은 몸을 본다는 게…

 

- 신문에 다 난걸요
- 참, 미안…

 

남자들은 여자 몸에 왜 그리 관심이 많죠?

 

특히 가슴에 말이예요

 

- 왜 그런 거에요?
- 글쎄…

 

그저 가슴일 뿐인데…

 

여자라면 누구든지
가슴을… 갖고있어요

 

가슴 큰 남자도 있죠
미트 로프처럼…

 

가슴은 모양도 우습고

 

젖을 먹이기 위해 존재하는 건데

 

왜들 그러죠?

 

글쎄, 왜 그럴까?

 

좀 봅시다

 

봐도 모르겠군

 

리타 헤이워스가 그랬죠

 

'그들은 질다와 자고 나와 함께 깬다'

 

- 질다가 누구죠?
- 리타의 배역이요

 

남자들은 환상에서

 

깨어나는 걸 싫어하죠

 

당신도 그래요?

 

당신은 지금이 제일 예뻐요

 

금방 올게요

 

아침식사예요

 

- 아…
- 아침쯤 되겠네요

 

세상에…

 

나 더 있어도 돼죠?

 

영원히 있어줘요

 

참, 잼을 안가져왔네

 

당신이 열어줘요

 

하나님 맙소사

 

왜요?

 

왜 그래요?

 

- 아니요
- 무슨 일인데요?

 

안돼요, 안나

 

맙소사
그 모습으로 찍혔어요?

 

네

 

이렇게 벗은 채로…

 

- 잘들 잤어요?
- 기자들이 왔어요

 

수백명은 돼요

 

내가 바보였어요

 

네, 알아요
빨리 좀 와요

 

젠장

 

- 밖에 나가지 마
- 왜?

 

- 내 말대로 해
- 오…

 

내 모습 괜찮았나?
나쁘진 않네

 

쓸만하군
팬티도 세련됐어

 

여자들 뿅가겠군

 

이 빵빵한 엉덩이!

 

괜찮아요?

 

괜찮아 보여요?

 

- 난 영문을…
- 뻔해요

 

당신 친구가 돈받고 까발렸겠죠

 

- 아니요!
- 그래요? 영국의 모든 기자가

 

냄새를 맡고

 

우르르 몰려왔는데

 

그런 꼴로 밖에 나가요?

 

- 나도 벗고 나갔는데
- 꺼져!

 

알았어

 

- 미안해요
- 이건 말도 안돼

 

스캔들 피해왔다가

 

혹만 더 붙였잖아요

 

난 애인도 있다고요

 

- 그래요?
- 공식적으론 그래요

 

내일쯤 당신 사진이

 

쫙 깔릴거예요

 

어쨌든 좀…

 

- 진정해요
- 진정 못해요!

 

당신은 좋겠군요

 

유명해졌잖아요

 

다들 그럴 거 아녜요
'대단해

 

그 배우랑 잤지?
사진에서 봤어'

 

- 그렇게 말하지 말아요
- 맞잖아요

 

책방도 잘 될걸요?

 

- '안나 스콧의 정부의 서점'
- 그만해요

 

부탁이요

 

제발 진정해요
차 한 잔 해요

 

필요 없어요

 

집에 갈래요

 

스파이크 누군지 봐
제발 옷좀 입고!

 

운전기사같애

 

스파이크한테 한 턱 내라고 해요

 

한몫 크게 챙겼을테니까…

 

그건 오해요
잠깐만!

 

진정해요

 

그냥 웃어넘길 순 없소?

 

넓게 보면 이건 하찮은 일이예요

 

유고난민을 생각해봐요

 

멀리 유고까지 갈 것도 없어요

 

벨라는 집계단에서 굴러

 

평생 불구가 됐소

 

시야를 좀 넓게 가져봐요

 

알아요, 하지만

 

난 10년간 언론에 시달려왔어요

 

10분 겪은 당신은

 

절대로 날 이해 못해요

 

신문은 하루 뒤엔 휴지가 돼요

 

- 뭐라고요?
- 하루만 참아요

 

내일이면

 

이 일은 잊혀질거요

 

모르는군요

 

이 일은 자료로 남아서

 

내 기사의 단골메뉴로
평생동안 날 따라다닐 거예요

 

신문은 평생 가요

 

난 평생 후회할 거고요

 

그렇군요

 

그렇군

 

솔직히 내 기분은

 

당신과 반대요

 

늘 당신을 고마워할 거예요

 

어쨌든

 

가는 게 좋겠군요

 

네가 알렸어?

 

술집에서 약간 자랑하긴 했어

 

그래

 

♪ Ain't no sunshine
when she's gone ♪

 

♪ It's not warm
when she's away ♪

 

♪ Ain't no sunshine
when she'sgone ♪

 

♪ And she's always
gone too long ♪

 

♪ Anytime she goes away ♪

 

♪ Ain't no sunshine
when she's gone ♪

 

♪ It's not warm
when she's away ♪

 

♪ Ain't no sunshine
when she's gone ♪

 

♪ And she's always
gone too long ♪

 

♪ Anytime she goes away ♪

 

♪ Wonder this time
where she's gone ♪

 

♪ Wonder if she's gone to stay ♪

 

♪ Ain't no sunshine
when she's gone ♪

 

♪ And this house
just ain't no home ♪

 

♪ Anytime she goes away ♪

 

♪ Ain't no sunshine
when she's gone ♪

 

♪ And this house
just ain't no home ♪

 

♪ Anytime she goes away ♪

 

♪ Anytime she goes away ♪

 

♪ Anytime she goes away ♪

 

♪ Anytime she goes away ♪♪

 

좋은 선물이 있어
그 선물 받으면

 

매일 날
업어주고 싶을 걸?

 

뭔데?

 

런던과 뉴욕에 있는

 

안나 스콧의 매니저들 전화번호

 

안나를 못 잊잖아
전화해봐

 

그래
고맙다

 

이따 봐, 안녕 마티
옷 멋져

 

내가 한마디 할게

 

안 일어나도 양해해줘

 

일 년 전 오늘 토니가
여기 식당을 열었지

 

- 자, 자
- 고마워

 

헌데 손님이 없어

 

불경기라 그래

 

그래서 하는 말인데

 

우리 단골식당을 바꿔야 되겠어

 

토니, 기분 나쁘게 생각 마

 

인생은 생각할수록 수수께끼야

 

어떤 사람들은 잘 풀리고

 

또 어떤 사람은 늘…

 

- 해고당하지
- 뭐?

 

- 설마
- 회사 내에 대규모의

 

구조조정이 진행중이야

 

무능한 내가 먼저 짤렸지

 

무능한 브로커를 위하여!

 

삼류 요리사를 위하여!

 

- 둘 다를 위해!
- 건배!

 

잘들 만났군

 

나도 오늘밤에

 

발표할게 있어

 

나 약혼할거야

 

사람좋고 못생긴 어떤 남자랑…

 

그는 날 행복하게 해줄거야

 

잠깐만…

 

난 네 오빠야
난 금시초문인데…

 

경제력 있는 남자니?

 

촉망받는 예술가야

 

- 벨라도 알았어?
- 몰랐어

 

그 상대는 자기야

 

- 나?
- 어때?

 

그야…

 

좋지!

 

또 누구 뭐 발표할 거 없어?

 

실은 나도 있어

 

지난 6개월 동안

 

방황한 거 미안해

 

그동안 너무 울적했었어

 

솔직히 너 못 봐주겠더라

 

이제는 슬럼프를 극복했어

 

앞으로는 즐겁게 살거야

 

♪♪

 

♪ Without a love
of my own ♪

 

♪ Blue moon ♪
♪ Ba-boom, ba-boom ♪

 

♪ You knew just what
I was there for♪

 

나 너무 취했나봐

 

♪ You heard me saying
a prayer for ♪

 

기대요

 

♪ Someone I really
could care for ♪

 

정말 잊은거야?

 

- 그런거 같애
- 깨끗이 잊은거지?

 

그래, 잊었다니까

 

영화제와 찰영일로
안나가 런던에 왔대

 

그런 소식 들어도
동요 안 하지?

 

오, 맙소사…

 

안나, 여우주연상 후보
아직 못 잊었군

 

- 무슨 일이죠?
- 저…

 

- 안나 스콧양을 좀…
- 약속했나요?

 

그건 아니고요

 

- 그럼 안됩니다
- 그렇군요

 

난 친구예요
정신병자 아니요

 

- 어떻게 좀…
- 안됩니다

 

- 여긴 어떻게…
- 어제야 소식을 들었소

 

- 전화하려 했지만…
- 가요!

 

네, 음…

 

오늘 촬영이 끝나요

 

그럼 꽤 바쁘겠군요

 

당신이 기다려준다면

 

할 말이 있는데…

 

좋아요

 

차 마시면서
기다리세요

 

와서 보세요

 

헨리 제임스 팬이세요?

 

- 헨리 제임스 영화예요?
- 네

 

해리예요

 

헤드폰을 끼면 배우 대사가 들려요

 

- 고마워요
- 뭘요

 

- 안녕하세요
- 자, 써봐요

 

- 볼륨은 옆에 있소
- 감사합니다

 

날씨가 왜 이러는 건지…

 

- 오늘 촬영 끝내긴 틀렸군
- 난 내일 가야돼요

 

바쁜 척은…
쟤 엉덩이 봐

 

- 안 들을래요
- 참 불공평해

 

누군 말라서 탈이고

 

누군 저렇게
엉덩이가 커서

 

운동장같고…

 

당신처럼
몸이 비쩍 마른 사람은

 

저런 멋진 몸매보면

 

주눅 드나보죠?

 

대사나 연습해요

 

내가 물어보면 당신은…

 

'내일 발표하겠소'

 

그리곤… 알았어요

 

아까 그 얼간이 누구야?

 

아무도 아니예요

 

좀 알던 남잔데

 

불쑥 찾아와서 당황했어요

 

그랬군

 

고마워요, 전 이만…

 

또 와요

 

처음의 위치로
모두들 가주세요

 

처음 위치로!

 

일 방해해서 미안하지만

 

뭐가 배달됐어

 

자네가 받으면 안돼?

 

자네 개인한테 온 물건이야

 

알았어
자넨 대체

 

월급받고 하는 일이 뭐야?

 

안녕

 

- 안녕하세요
- 가셨더군요

 

네, 네

 

방해가 되는 것 같아서…

 

- 잘 지냈어요?
- 네

 

늘 그렇죠 뭐

 

스파이크랑 싸우면서…

 

상을 받았더군요

 

- 기쁘겠어요
- 아니요

 

그런거 순 엉터리예요

 

나도 여태껏 몰랐는데

 

엉터리더라고요

 

어제로…

 

촬영이 다 끝났기 때문에
오늘 떠나요

 

실은

 

당신 주려고 집에서

 

이걸 가져왔어요

 

고마워요

 

풀어봐도…?

 

아뇨, 아직 풀지 말아요

 

뭔지 몰라도 고마워요

 

내 아파트에 걸었던 거예요

 

당신에게 못되게 굴어서

 

차마 전화할 용기가 안났어요

 

두번이나 그래서!

 

그래서 그냥 호텔에만 있곤 했는데

 

당신이 찾아 와줬길래…

 

사실은…

 

그러니까…

 

뭔데요?
말해봐요

 

헛소리 하지말고 꺼져요!

 

- 꺼져!
- 네

 

미안해요

 

뭐랬죠?

 

네

 

오늘 나 가야돼요

 

하지만 만약 당신이

 

날 다시 받아주고

 

좋아해…준다면

 

떠나지 않겠어요

 

어제 그 배우에게
나랑 끝났다고 했잖소

 

들었어요

 

헤드폰을 꼈었거든요

 

내가 왜 그 속물한테
진심을 밝히겠어요?

 

실례!

 

자네 어머니가 전화하셨어

 

내가 건다고해

 

어제도 건다고 해놓고

 

소식이 깜깜이래

 

무좀이 다시 재발하셨대

 

그래, 알았어
하필 꼭 이럴 때…

 

자네가 좀 있어줘

 

알았어

 

'사랑과 영혼'

 

무척 감명 깊게 봤습니다

 

- 그래요?
- 네

 

패트릭 스웨이지는

 

실제 성격이 어때요?

 

저도 그 분은 잘 몰라요

 

촬영 같이 했잖아요

 

'사랑과 영혼'을 같이 찍은 건 데미무어예 요

 

그런가…

 

죄송해요

 

전 원래 멍청해요

 

아무튼

 

만나서 영광입니다

 

전 당신 팬이예요

 

데미무어하고…

 

미안해요

 

괜찮아요

 

최후 평결땐
휴정이 필요하죠

 

안나

 

난 아주 평범한 놈이요

 

사랑도 많이 못해봤어요

 

당신의

 

제의는

 

고맙지만 안 되겠소

 

네

 

그래요, 이해해요

 

알았어요

 

가볼게요, 반가웠어요

 

당신은

 

내겐 벅찬 사람이예요

 

당신의 그

 

급한 성격은 그렇다쳐도

 

나처럼 사랑에 미숙한 놈이

 

또 상처를 받으면

 

그땐 정말이지
회복할 수 없을 거요

 

당신은 일도 많고 너무 바빠요

 

난 분명히 또…

 

상처를 받을 거요

 

확실한 거절이군요

 

우린 세계가 너무 달라요

 

당신은 모두가 알고

 

내 존재는 아무도 모르죠

 

알았어요

 

잘 생각했어요
이해해요

 

인기는 뜬구름과 같은 거예요

 

나도 그저 여자일뿐이라는 건

 

잊지 말아요

 

남자 앞에 서서

 

사랑을 바라는…

 

잘 있어요

 

내가 잘한 걸까?

 

응, 잘했어

 

그 여자 별거 아냐

 

바지 내릴 때 보니까 똥배 나왔더라고

 

결정 잘했어

 

배우는 다 교활해

 

- 토니, 넌?
- 물으나마나야

 

- 알았어, 맥스?
- 채식주의자 상종마

 

그래, 고마워

 

난 왜 불렀어?

 

오빠가 안나를 찼대

 

이 병신 머저리!

 

아냐, 옳은 결정한 거야

 

저 그림 진품 아니겠지?

 

진품일거야

 

너랑 사귀고 싶대?

 

- 응
- 고마운 일이군

 

뭐가?

 

생각해 봐

 

누가 너랑 사귀겠다고 하겠어?

 

하긴…

 

착한 여자지

 

안나가 배우니까

 

연기를 한건지는 몰라도

 

유명하다고 보면
유명하지만

 

자기도 평범한

 

여자에 불과하대

 

한 남자에게
사랑을 갈구하는

 

평범한… 한 여자…

 

내가 잘못 생각한 거지?

 

응

 

맥스 네 차 잘 달려?

 

- 잘해!
- 제임스 본드 나가신다!

 

- 목적지는?
- 일단 리츠호텔로…

 

- 벨라는?
- 안간대

 

- 말도 안돼! 버니, 뒤에 타
- 뭐?

 

난 괜찮아

 

가자구

 

♪ You gotta gimme some lovin' ♪

 

♪Gimme, gimme
some lovin' ♪

 

♪ Gimme some lovin' ♪
♪ Gimme, gimme some lovin' ♪

 

어디로 가게?

 

켄싱턴 쳐치 방향

 

- 거긴 멀어
- 베이워터로 가

 

맞아
그롬웰에서 좌회전해!

 

아니지!

 

조용히 해!
길은 내가 정해!

 

미안해

 

손발이 맞아야 해먹지

 

♪ Well, I feel so good
Everything is soundin'hot ♪

 

♪ You better take it easy
'cause the place is on fire ♪

 

우회전, 우회전…

 

- 일방로야
- U턴해

 

♪ So glad you made it ♪

 

좋아!

 

♪ Gimme, gimme some lovin' ♪
♪ Gimme some lovin' ♪

 

♪ Gimme, gimme
some lovin' ♪

 

젠장!
이거 신나는데!

 

죄송!

 

스콧양, 계신가요?

 

- 아뇨
- '고인돌' 양은요?

 

- 안계세요
- '밤비'는?

 

- 없어요
- 그럼…

 

뽀뽀이나 올리브두요?

 

없어요

 

고마워요

 

'포카혼타스'는

 

체크아웃 하셨어요

 

사보이호텔에서

 

출국회견중이죠

 

한 생명 구했소

 

타키야마한테 전화온 거 있소?

 

확인해보죠

 

♪♪

 

♪ Gimme some lovin' ♪
♪ Gimme, gimme some lovin' ♪

 

♪ Gimme some lovin'
every day ♪♪

 

이대론 안되겠어

 

정지, 정지!
가, 가!

 

빨리!
기다려요!

 

빨리 가!
기다려요

 

어서가, 어서!
서요!

 

빨리 가, 어서!

 

자기 최고야!

 

가!

 

♪ Everybody should
And I'm ♪

 

♪So glad we made it ♪

 

♪ Hey, hey
So glad we made it ♪

 

♪ You gotta gimme some lovin' ♪

 

♪ Gimme, gimme some lovin' ♪
♪ Gimme some lovin' ♪

 

♪ Gimme, gimme some lovin' ♪
♪ Gimme some lovin' ♪

 

♪ Gimme, gimme
some lovin' ♪

 

실례합니다

 

- 네?
- 기자 회견장 어디죠?

 

- 신분증 있으세요?
- 네

 

- 여기요
- 비디오 회원권이군요

 

전 영화평론기자예요

 

- 잡지사의…
- 안됩니다

 

- 내 일행이예요
- 댁은…?

 

호텔의 장애인 처우를
조사중이죠

 

회견장은 '장미실' 입니다만

 

좀 늦으셨네요

 

뛰어!

 

다음 작품을 안한다는 뜻 인가요?

 

그건 아닙니다

 

다만 내년에는

 

활동을 쉬겠다는 얘기죠

 

개봉일은 언제죠?

 

미국에선

 

가을에 개봉하고

 

영국에선 연말쯤 개봉할겁니다

 

도미닉!

 

영국은 언제 떠나실거죠?

 

오늘 밤 떠나요

 

시간 없으니까
한 질문만 더 받죠

 

여자분

 

활동을 쉬기로 한건

 

제프의 염문탓인가요?

 

- 아닙니다
- 그 소문 믿으세요?

 

이젠 저와는 상관없지만

 

제 경험상 제프의 염문은
대개 사실이죠

 

지난번 영국에
잠시 와계실 때

 

함께 사진 찍혔던
남성은 누굽니까?

 

어떤 사이죠?

 

그와는 친구사이예요

 

네…

 

분홍 셔츠 입은 분

 

네, 스콧양

 

그 남자와 연인으로

 

발전할…

 

가능성도 있습니까?

 

저도 그러길 바랬지만
불가능합니다

 

- 하지만 만약…
- 시간 없소, 한분만 더…

 

괜찮아요
뭐라셨죠?

 

제가 궁금한 건

 

혹 그 영국남자가…

 

대커예요, 이름이…

 

고마워요

 

만약 대커씨가…

 

자기 실수를 깨닫고

 

싹싹 빌면서
무릎을 꿇고

 

생각을 돌려달라고
얘원한다면

 

받아들일 건가요?

 

네, 그러겠어요

 

정말 기쁩니다

 

'경마와 사냥' 독자를 대표해서…

 

도미닉, 아까 그 질문
다시 해주겠소?

 

영국엔 언제까지 계실거죠?

 

영원히요

 

♪♪

 

그녀는 내게 잊지 못할 얼굴일 수도
♪ She may be the face I can't forget ♪

 

기쁨 또는 후회의 흔적일 수도 있죠
♪ The trace of pleasure or regret ♪

 

내 보물일 수도, 치뤄야할 대가일 수도 있어요
♪ May be my treasure or the price I have to pay ♪

 

왜 그래?
그녀는 여름이 불러주는
♪ She may be the song ♪

 

너무 잘됐어
노래일 수도
♪ that summer sings ♪

 

가을이 주는 서늘함일 수도 있고요
♪ May be the chill that autumn brings ♪

 

하루에도 수백가지로 변하는
♪ May be a hundred different things ♪

 

다른 모습일지도 모르죠
♪ Within the measure of a day ♪

 

그녀는 미녀일 수도, 야수일 수도 있고요
♪ She may be the beauty or the beast ♪

 

배고픔일 수도, 축제일 수도 있죠
♪ May be the famine or the feast ♪

 

매일 천국 혹은 지옥으로 변할지도 모르죠
♪ May turn each day into a heaven or a hell ♪

 

그녀는 내 꿈이 반사된 거울일 수도 있고
♪ She may be the mirror of my dream ♪

 

개울에 비친 미소일 수도 있죠
♪ A smile reflected in a stream ♪

 

그녀의 속내는
♪ She may not be what she may seem ♪

 

겉과 다를 수도 있어요
♪ Inside her shell♪

 

그녀는 사람들 속에 늘 행복해 보이고
♪ She who always seems so happy in a crowd ♪

 

그 눈빛은 비밀스럽고 자신감에 차 있지만
♪ Whose eyes can be so private and so proud ♪

 

그녀의 눈물은 아무도
♪ No one's allowed to see them ♪

 

보지 못하죠
♪ When they cry ♪

 

그녀는 끝까지 못다한 사랑일 수도 있고
♪ She may be the love that cannot hope to last ♪

 

과거의 그늘에서 벗어나 내게 올지도 몰라요
♪ May come to me from shadows of the past ♪

 

죽을 때까지 기억할 그 과거에서
♪ That I'll remember till the day I die ♪

 

그녀는 내가 사는 이유일지 몰라요
♪ She may be the reason I survive ♪

 

그녀가 있기 때문에 내가 있고
♪ The why and wherefore I'm alive ♪

 

좋거나 나쁠 때도 내가 돌봐 줄
♪ The one I'll care for through the rough ♪

 

사람일 수도 있죠
♪ And ready years ♪

 

난 그녀의 웃음과 눈물을 가져다
♪ Me, I'll take her laughter and her tears ♪

 

내 기념품으로 삼겠어요
♪ And make them all my souvenirs ♪

 

그녀가 가는 곳에 나도 있겠어요
♪ For where she goes I've got to be ♪

 

내 삶의 의미는 바로
♪ The meaning of my life is ♪

 

그녀에요
♪ She ♪

 

그녀
♪ She ♪

 

바로 그녀죠
♪ Oh, she ♪♪

 

♪♪

 

♪ It's in the way you are ♪

 

♪ You've got a way with me ♪

 

♪ Somehow you got me
to believe ♪

 

♪ In everything
that I could be ♪

 

♪ I gotta say ♪

 

♪ You really got a way ♪

 

♪ It's in the way you want me ♪

 

♪ It's in the way you hold me ♪

 

♪ The way you show me
just what love's ♪

 

♪ Made of ♪

 

♪ It's in the way we make love ♪

 

♪ Oh, how I adore you ♪

 

♪ Like no one before you ♪

 

♪ I love you
just the way you are ♪

 

♪ It's in the way you want me ♪

 

♪ Oh, it's in the way
you hold me ♪

 

♪ The way you show me
just what love's ♪

 

♪ Made of ♪

 

♪ It's in the way we make love ♪

 

♪ It's just the way you are ♪♪

 

♪♪

 

♪ No matter what they tell us ♪

 

♪ No matter what they do ♪

 

♪ No matter what they teach us ♪

 

♪ What we believe is true ♪

 

♪ I can't deny what I believe ♪

 

♪ I can't be what I'm not ♪

 

♪ I know our love ♪
♪ I know our love's forever ♪

 

♪ I know ♪
♪ I know no matter what ♪

 

♪ No matter who they follow ♪

 

♪ No matter where they've been ♪

 

♪ No matter how they judge us ♪

 

♪ I'll be everyone you need ♪

 

♪ I can't deny what I believe ♪
♪ What I believe ♪

 

♪ I can't be what I'm not ♪

 

♪ I know I'm not ♪

 

♪ I know this love's forever ♪

 

♪ That's all that matters now
no matter what ♪

 

♪ No, no matter what ♪
♪ No, no matter ♪

 

♪ That's all that matters to me ♪
♪ No, no matter what ♪

 

♪ No, no matter ♪

 

♪ That's all that matters to me ♪
♪ No, no matter what ♪

 

♪ No, no matter what ♪

 

♪ That's all that matters to me ♪
♪ No, no matter what ♪

 

♪ No, no matter what ♪

 

♪ That's all that matters to me ♪
♪ No, no matter what ♪

 

♪ No, no matter what ♪

 

♪ That's all that matters
to me ♪♪

 

So stay with us,
because later this afternoon…

 

we're lucky enough
to be talking to Anna Scott,

 

Hollywood's biggest star
by far.

 

Miss Scott's latest film
is once again topping the charts.

 

♪ She may be the face
I can't forget ♪

 

♪ The trace of pleasure
or regret ♪

 

♪ May be my treasure
or the price ♪

 

♪ I have to pay ♪

 

♪ She may be the mirror ♪

 

♪ Of my dream ♪

 

♪ A smile reflected
in a stream ♪

 

♪ She may not be
what she may seem ♪

 

♪ Inside her shell ♪

 

♪ She who always seems
so happy in a crowd ♪

 

♪ Whose eyes can be
so private and so proud ♪

 

♪ No one's allowed
to see them when they cry ♪

 

♪ She may be the love
that cannot hope to last ♪

 

♪ May come to me
from shadows of the past ♪

 

♪ That I'll remember
till the day ♪

 

♪ I die ♪

 

♪ She may be the reason
I survive ♪

 

♪ The why and wherefore
I'm alive ♪

 

♪ The one I'll care for
through the rough ♪

 

♪ And ready years ♪

 

♪ Me, I'll take her laughter
and her tears ♪

 

♪ And make them all
my souvenirs ♪

 

♪ For where she goes
I've got to be ♪

 

♪ The meaning
of my life is ♪

 

♪ She ♪

 

♪ She ♪

 

♪ Oh, she ♪♪

 

Of course I've seen
her films…

 

and always thought
she was, well, fabulous.

 

But, you know, a million, million miles
from the world I live in…

 

which is here, Notting Hill,
my favorite bit of London.

 

There's the market on weekdays selling
every fruit and vegetable known to man.

 

Rock hard bananas,
five for a pound!

 

The tattoo parlor with a guy outside
who got drunk…

 

and now can't remember
why he chose "I love Ken. '"

 

The radical hairdressers where everyone
comes out looking like the cookie monster,

 

whether they want to or not.

 

And then, suddenly,
it's the weekend,

 

and from break of day hundreds of stalls
appear out of nowhere,

 

filling Portobello Road,
right up to Notting Hill Gate.

 

And wherever you look thousands of people
are buying millions of antiques,

 

some genuine and some…
not quite so genuine.

 

And what's great is that lots of friends have
ended up in this part of London.

 

That's Tony, for example,
architect turned chef,

 

who recently invested all the money
he ever earned in a new restaurant.

 

And so, this is where
I spend my days and years…

 

in this small village in the middle of the city
in a house with a blue door…

 

that my wife and I bought together
before she left me for a man…

 

who looked exactly
like Harrison Ford…

 

and where I lead a strange half-life
with a lodger called--

 

Spike!

 

Hey, you couldn't help me with an incredibly
important decision, could you?

 

This is important in comparison
to, let's say, whether they
should cancel Third World debt?

 

That's right. I am at last going out on a date
with the great Janine,

 

and I just wanna be sure I've picked
the right T-shirt.

 

What are the choices?
Well, wait for it.

 

First there's this one.
Cool, huh?

 

Yeah, it might make it hard
to strike a really romantic note.

 

Point taken.
Don't despair.

 

If it's romance we're looking for, I believe
I have just the thing.

 

Yeah, well, there again, she might not
think you had true love on your mind.

 

Right.
Just one more.

 

True love,
here I come.

 

Well, yeah. Yeah,
that's-- that's, um, perfect.

 

Great. Thanks.

 

Wish me luck.
Good luck.

 

And so it was just
another hopeless Wednesday,

 

as I walked the thousand yards
through the market to work,

 

never suspecting that this was the day
that was gonna change my life forever.

 

This is work, by the way,
my little travel bookshop,

 

Morning, Martin.
Morning, Monsignor.

 

which, um,
well, sells travel books,

 

and to be frank with you,
doesn't always sell many of those.

 

Classic.
Profit from major sales push,

 

minus ￡34 7.

 

Shall I, uh,
go and get you a cappuccino?

 

You know, ease the pain a bit.
Yeah, yeah.

 

Better make it a half.
All I can afford.

 

Get your logic.
Demi-cappu coming right up.

 

Um, can I help you
at all?

 

No, thanks.
I'll just… look around.

 

Fine.

 

Uh, that book's
really not great.

 

Just in case, you know,
browsing turned to buying.
You'd be wasting your money.

 

But if it's Turkey
you're interested in,

 

um, this one,
on the other hand, is very good.

 

Um, I think the man who wrote it has actually
been to Turkey, which helps.

 

Um, there's also a very amusing incident
with a kebab,

 

um, which is one
of many amusing incidents.

 

Thanks.
I'll think about it.

 

Or, in the bigger hardback variety,
there's--

 

Um, sorry.
Can you just give me a second?

 

Excuse me.

 

Yes?
Bad news.

 

What? We've got a security camera
in this bit of the shop.

 

So? So I saw you put that book
down your trousers.

 

What book?
The one down your trousers.

 

I don't have a book
down my trousers.

 

Right.

 

I tell you what.
Um, I'll call the police, and, um,

 

if I'm wrong about the whole
"book down the trousers"
scenario, I really apologize.

 

Okay. What if…
I did have a book down my trousers?

 

Well, ideally,
when I went back to the desk,

 

you'd remove the Cadogan Guide
to Bali from your trousers…

 

and either wipe it
and put it back or buy it.

 

I'll see you in a sec.

 

I'm sorry about that.

 

No, it's fine.

 

I was gonna steal one,
but now I've changed my mind.

 

Oh, signed by the author,
I see.

 

Um, yeah,
couldn't stop him.

 

If you can find an unsigned one, it's worth
an absolute fortune.

 

Excuse me.

 

Yes?
Can I have your autograph?

 

Uh, sure.

 

Uh--
Here.

 

What's your name?
Rufus.

 

What does it say?

 

That's my signature. And above it, it says,
"Dear Rufus, you belong in jail."

 

Good one.

 

Do you want my phone number?
Tempting.

 

But… no.
Thank you.

 

I will take this one.

 

Oh, right, right.
So, uh--

 

Well, on second thoughts,
um, maybe it's not that bad after all.

 

Actually, it's a sort
of classic, really.

 

None of those childish kebab stories
you find in so many books these days.

 

And, um,
I tell you what.

 

I'll throw in one
of those for free.

 

Useful for, uh,
lighting fires,

 

wrapping fish,
that sort of thing.

 

- Thanks.
- Pleasure.

 

Cappuccino,
as ordered.

 

Thanks.

 

I don't think you'll believe
who was just in here.

 

Who?
Was it someone famous?

 

No, no, no.
No?

 

Would be exciting, though,
wouldn't it, if someone famous
came into the shop? Hmm?

 

Do you know--
and this is pretty amazing, actually--

 

but I once saw
Ringo Starr.

 

Where was that?
Kensington High Street.

 

At least I think it was Ringo.
It might have been that man
from Fiddler on the Roof.

 

You know, Toppy.
Topol.

 

Yes, that's right.
Topol.

 

Mm-hmm.

 

Actually, Ringo Starr doesn't-- doesn't look
at all like, uh, Topol.

 

Yeah, but he was--
he was quite a long way away from me.

 

So actually it could've
been neither of them.

 

Yes, I suppose so, yes.

 

It's not a classic anecdote, is it?
Not a classic, no. No.

 

Another one?
Yes. No.

 

Let's go crazy.
I'll have an orange juice.

 

Okay, thanks. Bye-bye.
See you later.

 

Oh!
Oh! Shit!

 

Oh, my God! Bugger!
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

 

Here. Let me--
Get your hands off!

 

I'm really sorry.
I-- I live just over the street.

 

I have, um, water and soap.
You can get cleaned up.

 

No, thank you.
I just need to get my car back.

 

I also have a phone.
I'm confident that in five minutes…

 

we could have you spick-and-span
and back on the street again.

 

In the non-prostitute sense,
obviously.

 

All right. Well--
What do you mean, "just over the street"?

 

Give it to me in yards.
Uh, 18 yards.

 

That's my house there
with the blue front door.

 

Come on in.
I'll just-- I'll just--

 

Um, right. Right.
Come in.

 

It's, um, not quite as tidy
as it normally is, I fear.

 

But, um--
The bathroom's on the top floor.

 

And the telephone's
just--just up here.

 

Here.
Let-- Let me, um--

 

Um, round the corner. Straight on--
straight on up.

 

Bugger.

 

Uh-oh.

 

Uh,

 

would you like a cup of tea
before you go?

 

- No.
- Coffee?

 

- No.
- Orange juice?

 

Probably not.
Um, something else cold.

 

Uh--

 

Coke? Water?

 

Some disgusting sugary drink
pretending to have something to
do with fruits of the forest?

 

No.
Would you like something to eat?

 

Uh, something
to nibble?

 

Um, apricots
soaked in honey?

 

Quite why, no one knows,
because it stops them tasting of apricots…

 

and makes them taste
like honey,

 

and if you wanted honey,
you'd just buy honey instead of… apricots.

 

Um, but nevertheless,
there we go there.

 

They're yours
if you want them.

 

No.

 

Do you always say " no"
to everything?

 

No.

 

I'd better be going.

 

Thanks for your, uh, help.

 

You're welcome.

 

And, uh, may I also
say, um, heavenly.

 

I'll just take
my one chance to say it.

 

After you've read
that terrible book,

 

you're certainly not going
to be coming back to the shop.

 

Thank you.

 

Yeah.
Well, my pleasure.

 

So…

 

it was nice to meet you.

 

Surreal but, um--
but nice.

 

Sorry.

 

"Surreal but nice"?
What was I thinking?

 

Hi.
Hi.

 

I forgot my other bag.
Oh, right. Right.

 

Thanks.

 

I'm very sorry about
the " surreal but nice" comment.

 

Disaster.
That's okay.

 

I thought the apricot and honey thing
was the real low point.

 

Oh, my God.
My flatmate.

 

I'm sorry.
There's no excuse for him.

 

Hey.
Hi.

 

I'm just going into the kitchen
to get some food.

 

Then I'm gonna tell you a story that will make
your balls shrink to the size of raisins.

 

Probably best
not to tell anyone about this.

 

Right. Right.
No one.

 

I mean, I'll tell myself sometimes,
but don't worry. I won't believe it.

 

Bye.
Bye.

 

There's something wrong
with this yogurt.

 

It's not yogurt.
It's mayonnaise.

 

Oh, right.
There we are, then.

 

Mm.

 

On for a videofest
tonight?

 

I got some
absolute classics.

 

Smile.
No.

 

Smile.
I've got nothing to smile about.

 

Okay.

 

In about seven seconds,

 

I'm going to ask you
to marry me.

 

Imagine.

 

Somewhere in the world
there's a man who's allowed to kiss her.

 

Yes, she is, uh,

 

fairly fabulous.

 

Do you have any books
by Dickens? No.

 

No, I'm afraid we're a travel bookshop.
We only sell travel books.

 

Oh, right. How about
the new John Grisham thriller?

 

Well, no, 'cause that's, uh--
that's a novel too, isn't it?

 

Oh, right.

 

Have you got
Winnie the Pooh?

 

Martin, your customer.

 

Uh, can I help you?

 

♪ Once in a lifetime ♪

 

Hey.

 

Hi.

 

-♪ Once in a lifetime ♪♪
-Just, um, incidentally,

 

uh, why…
are you wearing that?

 

Combination of factors really.
Uh, no clean clothes.

 

There never will be, you know,
unless you actually clean your clothes.

 

Right. Vicious circle.

 

And I was, like,
rooting around in your things…

 

and I found this,
and I thought, "Cool."

 

Kinda… spacey.

 

There's something wrong
with the goggles, though.

 

No, they were, um,
prescription.

 

- Groovy.
- So I could see all the fishes properly.

 

You should do more
of this stuff.

 

- So, look, any messages today?
- Yeah, I wrote a couple down.

 

So there were two.
There were two messages? Right?

 

You want me to write down
all your messages?

 

Okay, who are the ones
that you didn't write down from?

 

No. Gone completely. Oh, no.

 

There was one from your mum.
She said don't forget lunch,
and her leg's hurting again.

 

No one else?
Absolutely no one else.

 

Though if we're going for this obsessive
writing down all the message thing,

 

some American girl called Anna
called a few days ago.

 

- What did she say?
- Well, it was genuinely bizarre.

 

She said, "Hi. It's Anna."
The she said, "Call me at The Ritz"…

 

and then gave herself
a completely different name.

 

- Which was?
- Absolutely no idea.

 

Remembering one name's
hard enough.

 

No, I-- I know that.
She-- She said that.

 

Um, I know she's
using another name.

 

The problem is she left the message
with my flatmate…

 

which was a very
serious mistake.

 

Um, I don't know. Imagine,
if you will, the stupidest
person you've ever met.

 

- Are you doing that?
- Yes, sir, I have him in my mind.

 

And now double it. And that is the, um--
what can I say--

 

the git that
I am living with.

 

And he can't remember--
Try Flintstone.

 

Sorry. What?
I think she said her name was Flintstone.

 

I don't-- I don't suppose, um,
Flintstone rings any bells, does it?

 

- Oh, I'll put you right through, sir.
- Oh, my God.

 

Hello. Hi.

 

Hi there.
Hello?

 

Hi. Hi.

 

Sorry. It's William… Thacker.
Yes?

 

Um, we--
I work in a bookshop.

 

Uh-huh. You played it pretty cool there,
waiting for three days to call.

 

Oh, no, I promise you I've never played
anything cool in my entire life.

 

My flatmate, who'll I'll stab to death later,
never gave me the message.

 

I don't know.
Perhaps, um,

 

I could drop round
for tea later or something.

 

Things are pretty busy here.
I might be free around 4:00.
Right. Right. Great.

 

Bye.
Yea-- Bye.

 

Classic.

 

Classic.

 

Which floor?
Three, please.

 

 

Uh, are you sure
this is--

 

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Sure.

 

Hi. Hi.
I'm Karen. Hi.

 

I'm sorry.
Things are running a little bit late.

 

Here's the, uh, thing.
Do you wanna come this way? Cheers.

 

Through here.

 

So what did you
think of the film?

 

Yeah, I thought it was fantastic.
I thought it was, uh,

 

Close Encounters
meets Jean de Florette.

 

I agree.

 

I'm sorry. I didn't get down
what magazines you're from.

 

Time Out.
Great.

 

And you're from?

 

Uh, Horse & Hound.

 

The name's William Thacker.
I think, actually, she might be expecting me.

 

Oh, okay. Take a seat
and I'll go check.

 

I see you've, uh--
I see you've brought her some flowers.

 

No.

 

These are for my,
um, grandmother.

 

She's in a hospital
just down the road.

 

Thought I'd kill two birds
with one stone, you know.

 

Sure, right.
Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah.

 

Which hospital's that?

 

Do you mind
me not saying?

 

It's a rather
distressing disease.

 

Name of the hospital kind of gives it away.
Absolutely. Sure.

 

Cheers.
Ooh, yes.

 

Right, uh, Mr. Thacker.
If you'll come this way.

 

Right.

 

You've got
five minutes.

 

Hi.
Hello.

 

Uh, I brought these,
but clearly--

 

No, they're great.
They're great.

 

Ah, listen, I'm sorry
about not ringing back.

 

The whole "two-names concept"
was totally too much for my
flatmate's pea-sized intellect.

 

No, it's a stupid privacy thing.
I always pick a… cartoon character.

 

Last time I was Mrs. Bambi.

 

- Everything all right?
- Yes, thank you.

 

And you're from, uh,
Horse & Hound.

 

Yeah.
Good.

 

Is that so? Well.

 

So, uh--

 

Uh, I'll just…
fire away then, shall I?

 

Right.

 

Uh--

 

The film's great,
and, um,

 

I just was
wondering whether…

 

you ever thought
of having, um,

 

more, uh,
horses in it.

 

Uh, well,
we would have liked to,

 

but it was, um, difficult, obviously,
being set in space.

 

Space, right, yeah.
Yeah, obviously very difficult.

 

I'm so sorry.
I arrived outside.

 

They thrust this thing
into my hand--

 

No, it's my fault.
I thought this would all be over by now.

 

I just wanted to sort of apologize
for the kissing thing.

 

I seriously don't know
what came over me.

 

And I just wanted to make sure
that you were fine about it.

 

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Absolutely fine.

 

Do remember that Miss Scott
is also keen to talk about her next project…

 

which is, um, shooting
later in the summer.

 

Ah, yes, excellent.
Excellent.

 

Any horses
in that one?

 

Or hounds for that matter.
Our readers are equally
intrigued by both species.

 

It takes place
on a submarine.

 

Oh. Well, bad luck.

 

But, um,

 

if there
were horses in it,

 

would you
be riding them…

 

or would you be getting, a--
a stunt-horse-double-man-thing?

 

I-I'm a complete moron.
I apologize. I--

 

This is very weird.
It's the sort of thing that happens in dreams,

 

not in real life.

 

I mean, good dreams.
It's a--

 

It's a dream, in fact,
uh, to see you again.

 

What happens next
in the dream?

 

I suppose
in the, uh, dream--

 

dream scenario--
I just, uh,

 

change my personality…

 

because you can do that
in dreams and, um,

 

walk over and, uh,
kiss the girl.

 

But, uh--

 

Time's up, I'm afraid.
Did you get what you wanted?

 

- Um, nearly, nearly.
- Well, maybe just one last question.

 

Sure.
Right, right.

 

Are you… busy tonight?

 

- Yes.
- Right. Right.

 

- Come in.
- Well, it was nice to meet you.

 

Yes, and you.

 

Surreal… but nice.

 

Thank you.
You are Horse & Hounds' favorite actress.

 

You and Black Beauty…

 

tied.

 

How was she?

 

Oh, um, fabulous.

 

Excellent. Wait a minute. She took
your grandmother's flowers.

 

Uh, yeah, yeah.
That's right.

 

Bitch.
Oh, Mr. Thacker.

 

Mr. Thacker, if you'd
like to come with me,

 

we can just rush you through the others.
The others?

 

Mr. Thacker
is from Horse & Hound.

 

How's it going?
Very well, thank you.

 

Have a seat.

 

Well, did you enjoy the film?

 

Yes, enormously.

 

Well, fire away.
Right.

 

Did you enjoy
making the film?

 

- Yes, I did.
- Good.

 

Any bit in particular?

 

You tell me what bit
you enjoyed the most,

 

and I'll tell you
if I enjoyed making that bit.

 

Uh, I…

 

liked the bit in space…

 

very much.

 

Did you identify with the character
you're playing?

 

- No.
- No.

 

Oh. Why not?

 

Because he's playing a psychopathic
flesh-eating robot.

 

Classic.

 

So, uh,

 

is this your first film?

 

No. It's my 22nd.

 

Of course it is.
Any favorites among the 22?

 

Working with Leonardo.

 

- Da Vinci?
- DiCaprio.

 

Of course.

 

And is-- is he your favorite
Italian director?

 

Mr. Thacker.
Oh, no.

 

Have you got a minute?
No.

 

Hi.

 

Hi.

 

Um-- Yeah, so the, um--

 

the-- the thing I was doing tonight,
I'm not doing anymore.

 

I told them I had
to spend the evening…

 

with Britain's premier
equestrian journalist.

 

Oh. Well, great.

 

Fantastic. That's, uh--

 

Oh. Shittity brickitty.

 

It's my sister's birthday.
Shit. We're meant to be having dinner.

 

- Okay, that's fine.
- No. I'm sure I can get out of it.

 

No, I mean, if it's fine with you,
I'll be your date.

 

You--
You'll be my date…

 

to my little sister's
birthday party?

 

If it's all right.
Well, yeah, I'm sure it's all right.

 

My friend Max is cooking,

 

and he is generally acknowledged
to be the worst cook in the world,

 

but, um, you know, you could hide
the food in your handbag or something.

 

- Okay.
- Okay.

 

He's bringing a girl?
Miracles do happen.

 

Does the girl have a name?
Don't know. Wouldn't say.

 

Oh, Christ!
What is going on in there?

 

Oh, God!

 

Hi. Come on in.
Vague food crisis.

 

Hiya! Sorry.

 

The guinea-fowl is proving more
complicated than expected.

 

- He's cooking guinea-fowl?
- Don't even ask.

 

- Hi.
- Hi.

 

Good Lord, you're
the spitting image of--

 

Bella, this is Anna.

 

- Right.
- Okay, crisis over.

 

Max, this is Anna.

 

- Hi.
- Hello, Anna…

 

Scott.
Have some wine.

 

Thank you.

 

I'll get it.

 

Red or white?

 

Oh. Hey.
Hi.

 

Oh, yes, happy birthday.
Thank you.

 

Look, your brother's
brought this girl.

 

Hi, guys.
Oh, holy fuck!

 

Hon, this is Anna. Anna, this is Honey.
She's my baby sister.

 

Oh. Hi.

 

Oh, God. This is one
of those key moments in life…

 

when it's possible you can be really
genuinely cool…

 

and I-- I'm going to fail
just a hundred percent.

 

I-- I absolutely, totally
and utterly adore you.

 

And I just think… you are the most beautiful
woman in the world.

 

And, more importantly,
I genuinely believe,

 

and I've believed for some time now,
that we could be best friends.

 

So what do you think?

 

Uh, lucky me.

 

Well, happy birthday.

 

Oh, you gave me a present.
We're best friends already, then.

 

Marry Will. He's a really nice guy.
Then we can be sisters.

 

Well, I'll think
about it.

 

That'll be Bernie.

 

Hi.
Hi. Sorry I'm late.

 

Bollocksed up at
work again, I fear.

 

Millions down the drain.
Well done.

 

Bernie, this is Anna.
Hello, Anna. Delighted to meet you.

 

And you. Honey bunny,
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪♪

 

- Hi, Bella.
- Hi.

 

Um, it-- it-- it's a hat.
You don't have to wear it or anything.

 

Hi, Will.
Hi.

 

Hi.

 

Hi.
What?

 

Wine, Bernie?
Mm.

 

You haven't slept
with her, have you?

 

That is a cheap question,
and the answer is, of course, no comment.

 

No comment means "yes."
No, it doesn't.

 

Do you ever masturbate?
Definitely no comment.

 

You see, it means "yes."
Oh, my God!

 

So, uh, tell me,
um, Anna, what do you do?

 

I'm an actress.
Oh, splendid.

 

What do you do?

 

I'm actually in the stock market myself, so,
uh, not really similar fields.

 

Though, um-- um,
I have done the odd bit of amateur stuff.

 

Um-- uh, P. G. Wodehouse.
Farce, all that, you know.

 

"Careful there, vicar."

 

Always imagined it's
a pretty tough job, though, acting.

 

I mean, the wages are
a scandal, aren't they? They can be.

 

I see friends from university--
clever chaps. Been in
the business longer than you.

 

They're scraping by on seven,
eight thousand a year.

 

You know,
it's no life.

 

- What sort of acting do you do?
- Films, mainly.

 

Oh, splendid. Oh, well done.
How's the pay in movies?

 

I mean, last film you did,
what did you get paid?

 

Fifteen million dollars.

 

Right.

 

So that's,
well, fairly good.

 

Right, I think
we're ready.

 

Ooh.
Okay.

 

Bella, can you tell me where I can find--
Oh, sorry. Yeah, yeah.

 

It's down the corridor on the right.
I'll show you.

 

Quickly, quickly, quickly.
Talk very, very quickly.

 

What are you doing here
with Anna Scott?

 

Anna Scott?
Yes. Shut up!

 

What, the film star?
Shh!

 

Oh, God!
What?

 

Oh, God. Oh, goddy God.
What did you say to her?

 

I don't believe it.
I actually walked into the loo with her.

 

I was still chatting when she started
unbuttoning her jeans.

 

She had to ask me
to leave. Oh, God.

 

So you knew
who she was?

 

Of course I did,
but he didn't.

 

Well, not instantly, but I-- I--
I got away with it.

 

- What do you think of the guinea-fowl?
- I'm a vegetarian.

 

Oh, God.

 

So, how's
the guinea-fowl?

 

Best guinea-fowl
I've ever tasted.

 

♪ It's amazing how you ♪

 

♪ Can speak
right to my heart ♪

 

♪ Without saying a word ♪

 

♪ You can light up
the dark ♪

 

♪ Try as I may
I can never explain ♪

 

♪ What I hear when you
don't say a thing ♪♪

 

Having you here, Anna,
firmly establishes what I've long suspected--

 

that we really are the most desperate lot
of underachievers.

 

- Shame.
- I'm not saying it's a bad thing.

 

In fact, I think it's something
we should take pride in.

 

I'm gonna give the last brownie as a prize…

 

to the saddest act here.

 

Uh-oh.
Bern.

 

Yeah, all right. Well, obviously,
it's me, isn't it?

 

I mean, I work in the city
in a job I don't understand,

 

and everyone keeps
getting promoted above me.

 

I haven't had a girlfriend
since-- well, since puberty.

 

And… nobody fancies me.

 

And if these cheeks get any chubbier,
they never will.

 

- Nonsense. I fancy you.
- Really?

 

Yeah. Or I did
before you got so fat.

 

You see. And unless
I'm much mistaken,

 

your job still pays you
a rather lot of money,

 

whilst Honey here
earns 20 pence a week…

 

flogging her guts out
in London's worst record store.

 

Yes! And I haven't got hair.
I've got feathers.

 

And I've got funny goggly eyes.
And I'm attracted to cruel men.

 

And, actually,
no one will marry me…

 

because, um, my boosies
have actually started shrinking.

 

- You see, it's incredibly sad.
- But on the other hand,

 

her best friend
is Anna Scott.

 

True. I can't deny it.
She needs me. What can I say?

 

And most of her limbs work,
whereas I'm stuck in this thing day and night,

 

in a house full of ramps.

 

And to add insult
to serious injury,

 

I've totally given up smoking,
my favorite thing.

 

And, um, well, the truth is,

 

we can't have a baby.

 

Oh, Belle.

 

C'est la vie.

 

Still, um,
we're lucky in lots of ways.

 

But surely
that's worth a brownie.

 

Well, I don't know.
Look at William.

 

- Very unsuccessful professionally.
- That's true.

 

Divorced. Used to be handsome, now kind
of squidgy round the edges.

 

And absolutely certain never
to hear from Anna again…

 

- once she's heard that his
nickname at school was--
- Floppy.

 

You did. I can't
believe it, you did.

 

Thanks very much.
Thank you. Well, at least
I get the last brownie.

 

I think so, yes.

 

Well, wait.
What about me?

 

I'm sorry? You think
you deserve the brownie?

 

Well, a shot at it
at least, huh?

 

You'll have to prove it.
This is a very, very good brownie,
and I'm gonna fight for it.

 

I've been on a diet
every day since I was 19,

 

which basically means
I've been hungry for a decade.

 

I've had a series of not-nice boyfriends,
one of whom hit me.

 

Uh, and every time
I get my heart broken,

 

the newspapers splash it about
as though it's entertainment.

 

And… it's taken two rather
painful, um, operations…

 

to get me looking like this.

 

- Really?
- Really.

 

And one day not long from now,
my looks will go,

 

they will discover
I can't act,

 

and I will become
some sad, middle-aged woman…

 

who… looks a bit like someone
who was famous for a while.

 

No, nice try, gorgeous,
but you don't fool anyone.

 

No.

 

Pathetic effort
to hog the brownie.

 

Thank you for such a terrific time.
I'm delighted.

 

That's a great tie.
Now you're lying.

 

Okay, it's true. I told you
I was bad at acting.

 

It was lovely to meet you.
Yeah, and you. And you.

 

I'll wait until you've gone before I tell him
you're a vegetarian.

 

No!
Oh!

 

Good night.
Anna, I'm so sorry about the loo thing.

 

I meant to leave.
I just--

 

Ring me if you want someone
to go shopping with.

 

I know lots of nice, cheap places, not
that money is necessarily--

 

It was just
so nice to meet you.

 

Happy birthday.
You're my style guru. Thank you.

 

Sorry. Can I just--
Oh.

 

Thanks.
Leave her.

 

Good night, everyone.
Bye.

 

Max, Belle, we'll see you
in a couple of days.

 

Thank you, everybody.
Call us. Call us. Bye, guys.

 

- Bye, Anna.
- Love your work.

 

Bye, Hon.

 

Sorry. They always do that
when I leave the house.

 

It's a stupid thing.
I hate it.

 

"Floppy," huh?
It's the hair.

 

Mm-hmm.
It's to do with the hair.

 

Why is she
in a wheelchair?

 

Uh, because she had an accident
about 18 months ago.

 

And the pregnancy thing, is
that to do with the accident?
You know, I'm not sure.

 

I don't think they tried for kids before,
as fate would have it.

 

Do you want to, um--

 

My place is just, um--

 

Too complicated.

 

That's fine.

 

Busy tomorrow?

 

I thought you were
leaving tomorrow. I was.

 

All these streets round here
have these mysterious communal
gardens in the middle of them.

 

They're like little villages.
Let's go in.

 

Ah, no, that's the point.
They're private villages.

 

Only the people who live round the edges
are allowed in.

 

Oh. You abide
by rules like that?

 

I don't. No, no.
But others do.

 

I just do what I want.

 

Um-- Right.

 

Whoopsidaisies.

 

What did you say?

 

Nothing.
Yes, you did.

 

No, I didn't.
You said, "Whoopsidaisies."

 

No one says, "Whoopsidaisies," do they?
I mean, unless they're--

 

There is no " unless." Because no one has
said "Whoopsidaisies" for 50 years.

 

And even then it was--
it was just little girls with blonde ringlets.

 

Exactly. Right.
So here we go again.

 

Oh! Oh!
Whoopsidaisies.

 

Yeah, well, it's a disease.
It's a clinical thing.

 

I'm taking pills and having injections. And
I'm told it won't last long.

 

- Okay, stand aside.
- I don't think that's a good idea.

 

Really, it's quite,
um, tricky. Anna.

 

Anna, don't. It's harder than it--
No, it's not. It's easy.

 

Well--

 

Come on, Flopsy.

 

Right.

 

All right.

 

Oh, bugger.

 

Oh, God, this could be
very unpleasant.

 

Ay!
Bugger, bugger.

 

Now what in the world in this garden could
make that ordeal worthwhile?

 

♪♪

 

♪ It's amazing how you ♪

 

♪ Can speak
right to my heart ♪

 

Nice garden.

 

♪ Without saying a word ♪

 

♪ You can light up the dark ♪

 

♪ Try as I may
I can never explain ♪

 

♪ What I hear
when you don't say a thing ♪

 

♪ You say it best ♪
♪ You say it best ♪

 

♪ When you say nothing
at all ♪

 

"For June
who loved this garden.

 

From Joseph
who always sat beside her."

 

Some people do spend
their whole lives together.

 

♪ All day long I can hear ♪

 

♪ People talking out loud ♪

 

♪ But when you hold me near ♪
♪ When you hold me near ♪

 

♪ You drown out the crowd ♪
♪ Out the crowd ♪

 

♪ Try as they may
they can never define ♪
Come and sit with me.

 

♪ What's been said
between your heart and mine ♪

 

♪ The smile on your face
lets me know that you need me ♪

 

♪ There's a truth
in your eyes ♪

 

♪ Saying you'll
never leave me ♪
Bollocks! Bollocks!

 

Have you seen my glasses?
No, afraid not.

 

Big, big bollocks! Average day,
my glasses are everywhere.

 

Everywhere I look
there's a pair of glasses.

 

But when I want to go to the cinema,
they've vanished.

 

It's one of life's
real cruelties.

 

That's compared to, like,
earthquakes in the Far East
or testicular cancer, is it?

 

Oh, shit.
Is that the time?

 

Thanks for all your help
on the glasses thing.

 

Oh, you're welcome.
Did you find them?

 

Sort of.
Great.

 

♪♪

 

♪♪

 

♪ Oh, the smile on your face
lets me know that you need me ♪

 

♪ There's a truth
in your eyes ♪

 

♪ Saying
you'll never leave me ♪

 

♪ The touch of your hand
says you'll catch me wherever I fall ♪♪

 

So who left who?

 

Uh, she left me.
Why?

 

She saw through me.
Uh-oh.

 

That's not good.

 

You can give me
Anna Scott any day.

 

I didn't like her last film.
Fell asleep as soon as the lights went down.

 

I don't really care
what the film's like.

 

Any film with her in,
it's fine by me.

 

She's not my type at all.
I prefer the other one.
You know, blonde, sweet-looking.

 

You know,
what's-her-name.

 

Has an orgasm every time
you take her out for a cup of coffee.

 

Meg Ryan.

 

No, she's too wholesome.
The point about Miss Scott is…

 

she's got that twinkle
in her eyes.

 

Probably drug-induced.
Spends most of her life in bloody rehab.

 

Well, whatever.
She's so clearly up for it.

 

You see, most girls,
they're all like, "Stay away, chum. '"

 

But Anna, she is
absolutely gagging for it.

 

Do you know
that in over 50% of the languages,

 

the word for "actress'"
is the same as the word for "prostitute. '"

 

Where did you
get that from?

 

And Anna
is your definitive actress,

 

someone really filthy
you can just flip over and start again.

 

- Right, that's it. Sorry.
- No, no. There's really no point.

 

Um, sorry-- sorry
to disturb you guys.

 

But, um--
Can I help?

 

Well, yeah. I wish I hadn't overheard your
conversation, but I did.

 

And, um,
I just think, you know,

 

the person you're talking
about is a real person.

 

And I think she probably
deserves a little bit more consideration…

 

rather than having jerks
like you drooling over her.

 

Oh, sod off, mate.
What are you, her dad?

 

I'm sorry.
No, I love that you tried.

 

Time was I'd have done the same thing.
In fact--

 

Hi.

 

- Oh, my God.
- I just wanted to apologize for my friend.

 

- He's very sensitive.
- No, look, I-I--

 

No, no, leave it. It's, you know-- I'm sure
you didn't mean any harm.

 

I'm sure it was
just friendly banter.

 

I'm sure you guys have dicks
the size of peanuts. Enjoy your dinner.

 

The tuna's really good.

 

I shouldn't have done that.
I shouldn't have done that.

 

No, you were brilliant.
I'm rash and I'm stupid.

 

What am I doing
with you?

 

Uh, I don't know,
I'm afraid.

 

I don't either.

 

Here we are.

 

Yes.

 

Well, look--
Do you wanna come up?

 

Well, there seem to be… lots of reasons
why I shouldn't, so--

 

There are
lots of reasons.

 

Do you wanna come up?

 

Give me five minutes?

 

Hi.
Hi.

 

To be able to do that is
such a wonderful thing.

 

You've got to go.
Why?

 

Because my boyfriend
who was in America is,
in fact, now in the next room.

 

Boyfriend?
Yes.

 

- Baby, who is it?
- Uh, it's, uh--

 

- Uh--
- Uh, room service.

 

Oh. How you doing?
I thought you guys always
wore those, uh, penguin coats.

 

Usually we do.

 

But I was just,
uh--just changed to go home.

 

And, um, then
I thought I'd take this final call.

 

Oh, great. If you don't mind,
I would like something too.

 

Could you bring me up some
really, really cold water?

 

I'll see what I can do.

 

- Still, not sparkling.
- Absolutely. Ice-cold still water.

 

Unless, of course, it's illegal
in the U.K. to serve beverages
below room temperature.

 

I wouldn't want you going to jail
just to satisfy my whim now.

 

- No, I'm sure it's fine.
- Thank you.
- I--

 

Hey, one more thing. Could you adios these
dirty dishes and take out that trash too?

 

Uh--
Right.

 

No. No. Um, don't--
don't-- don't do that.

 

I don't think
it's his job to clear.

 

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
What's your name, man?

 

Bernie.

 

Oh, listen, Bernie.

 

Thank you.
I really appreciate it.

 

Hey, you.

 

So, tell me. Tell me.
Tell me. Good surprise or nasty surprise?

 

Good surprise.
Oh, you're such a liar.

 

She hates surprises.
Hey, what are you gonna order?

 

- Huh?
- From him. What are you gonna order?

 

Um, I haven't
decided yet.

 

Oh, well,
don't overdo it.

 

I don't want people saying,
"There goes that famous actor
with the big, fat girlfriend."

 

I should leave.

 

This is a fairly strange reality
to be faced with.

 

I'm so sorry.

 

I don't know…

 

what to say.

 

Well,

 

I think, um,

 

"good-bye"
is traditional.

 

♪♪

 

♪ I can think of younger days ♪

 

♪ When living for my life ♪

 

♪ Was everything ♪

 

♪ A man could want to do ♪

 

♪ I could never see ♪

 

♪ Tomorrow ♪

 

♪ I was never told ♪

 

♪ About the sorrow ♪

 

♪ And ♪

 

♪ How can you mend ♪

 

♪ A broken heart ♪

 

♪ How can you stop the rain
from falling down ♪

 

♪ Tell me how can you stop ♪

 

♪ That old sun from shining ♪

 

♪ What makes the world ♪

 

♪ Go round ♪

 

♪ And ♪
Come on.

 

♪ How can you mend ♪♪
Open up.

 

This is me.
Spikey.

 

I'm in contact with some quite important
spiritual vibrations.

 

Come on.
Hit me with it.

 

- There's this girl--
- Aha.

 

See, I been gettin'
a female vibe. Good.

 

Speak on,
dear friend.

 

She's someone who…

 

can't be mine,
and, uh,

 

it's as if I've taken love heroin,
and now I can't ever have it again.

 

I've opened Pandora's box
and there's trouble inside.

 

Mmm.

 

Yeah.

 

Tricky.

 

Tricky.

 

I knew a girl at school
called Pandora.

 

Never got to see her box, though.

 

Right.

 

Right. Thanks.
That's very helpful.

 

You didn't know
she had a boyfriend?

 

No. No.

 

Why? Did you?

 

Bloody hell.
I don't believe it.

 

My whole life ruined because
I don't read Hello magazine.

 

Let's face facts.
This was always a no-win situation.

 

Anna's… a goddess.

 

You know what happens to mortals
who get involved with the gods.

 

- Buggered, is it?
- Every time.

 

But don't despair.
I think I have the solution to your problems.

 

Really? Mm-hmm.
Her name is Tessa,

 

and she works in
the contracts department.

 

The hair, I admit,
is unfashionably frizzy,

 

but she's bright as a button and kisses like
a nymphomaniac on death row.

 

Apparently.

 

Now… try.

 

I got completely lost.

 

It's very difficult, isn't it?
Everything's got the word "Kensington'" in it.

 

Kensington Park Road.
Kensington Garden.
Kensington bloody Park Garden.

 

Tessa, this is Bella, my wife.
Hello.

 

You're in a wheelchair.
That's right.

 

And this is William.

 

Hello, William.
Hi.

 

Max has told me
everything about you. Has he?

 

Oh, yes.
You are a naughty boy.

 

Wine?
Oh, yes, please.

 

Come on, Willie.
Let's get sloshed.

 

Red or white?
Red.

 

Keziah.

 

- Some woodcock?
- No, thank you. I'm a fruitarian.

 

Ah.

 

What is a fruitarian,
exactly?

 

We believe that fruits and
vegetables have feelings,

 

so we think cooking
is cruel.

 

We only eat things that have
fallen from the tree or bush,

 

that are, in fact,
dead already.

 

Ah. Oh, right.

 

Right.

 

So, um,
these carrots?

 

- Have been murdered, yes.
- Murdered.

 

Poor old carrots.
That's--

 

That's beastly.

 

Delicious coffee.

 

I'm sorry about the lamb.

 

No. I thought it was…
really… interesting.

 

Interesting
means inedible.

 

Really inedible.
Yes, you're right.

 

Well,
maybe we'll meet again.

 

Yeah, yeah.
That'll be, uh--

 

be great.

 

Bye.

 

Well?

 

Perfect.

 

Absolutely perfect.

 

And?

 

I think you've forgotten
what an unusual situation you two have.

 

To find someone you actually… love,
who'll love you.

 

The chances are
always minuscule.

 

Look at me.
Apart from the American,

 

I've only loved two girls,
both total disasters.

 

That's not fair. One of them marries me,
then leaves me…

 

faster than you can say
"Indiana Jones. '"

 

And the other-- who seriously
ought to have known better--

 

casually marries
my best friend.

 

- She still loves you, though.
- In a depressingly asexual way.

 

I never fancied you much,
actually.

 

Oh, God.

 

I loved you.
You were terribly funny, but…

 

all that kissing my ears.

 

I don't believe it.
This is just getting worse.

 

I shall find myself 30 years from now
still sitting on this sofa.

 

- Do you wanna stay?
- Yeah. Why not?

 

All that awaits me at home
is a masturbating Welshman.

 

Here we go.

 

Good night.
Night.

 

See you.
Right.

 

Guilty.
Very, very guilty.

 

So it seems.

 

Hi.

 

Can I come in?

 

Come in.

 

They were taken years ago.

 

I know it was--

 

But I was poor and…
it happens a lot.

 

That's not an excuse.
I just--

 

But to make matters worse,

 

it now appears as though…

 

someone was
filming me as well.

 

So what was a stupid…

 

photo shoot,
now looks like a porn film.

 

The pictures have been sold,
and they're just…

 

everywhere.

 

I didn't know
where to go.

 

The hotel's surrounded.

 

I know
it's been months, but--

 

This is the place.

 

Thank you.

 

I'm just in London…

 

for two days,
but what with your papers,

 

it's the worst place to be.

 

These pictures are just so horrible,
and they're so grainy.

 

It makes me look like--

 

Don't think about it.

 

We'll sort it out.

 

What would you like?
Tea?

 

Bath?

 

A bath would be great.

 

Oh, Christ alive!

 

Brilliant. Fantastic.

 

Magnificent.

 

You must be Spike.

 

- Hi.
-Just…

 

checkin'.

 

Thank you, God.

 

I'm really sorry
about last time.

 

Oh--
He just flew in. I had no idea.

 

All right. In fact, I had no idea if he was
ever gonna fly in again.

 

It's not often one has
the opportunity to adios…

 

the plates of a major
Hollywood film star.

 

It was, um--
It was thrilling for me.

 

So how is he?

 

I don't know.

 

It just got to the point where
I couldn't remember any of the
reasons why we were together.

 

And you and love?

 

Oh, well, there's
a question, um,

 

without
an interesting answer.

 

I have thought about you.

 

Oh.
It's just that…

 

anytime I've tried
to keep…

 

anything normal
with a person that was…

 

normal, it's just
been a disaster.

 

Listen, I appreciate that.
Absolutely.

 

So what is that,
a film you're doing?

 

Um, start in L.A.
on Tuesday.

 

Would you like me to
take you through your lines?

 

Would you?
'Cause it's all talk, talk, talk.

 

Hand it over.

 

Right.
Um, basic plot?

 

I'm a difficult but brilliant
junior officer…

 

who in about 20 minutes is gonna save
the world from nuclear disaster.

 

Mm-hmm. Okay.
Well done, you.

 

"Message from Command.
Would you like them to send in the H.K.'s?"

 

No. Turn over four T.R.S.'s,
and tell them we need radar feedback…

 

before the K.F.T.'s
return at 1900.

 

Then inform the Pentagon we'll need
Black Star cover from 1000 through 1215.

 

And if you say one word
about how many mistakes I made,
I'll pelt you with olives.

 

-"Very well, Captain. I'll
pass that on straightaway."
- Thank you.

 

- How many mistakes did I make?
- Eleven.

 

- Damn it. And, Wainwright--
- Cartwright.

 

Cartwright, Wainwright,
whatever your name is,
I promised little Jimmy…

 

I'd be home for his birthday,
so could you get a message
to him that I may be late.

 

Certainly.
And, uh, little Johnny?

 

- My son's name is Johnny?
- Yep.

 

Then get a message to him too.
"I'll do what I can, Captain,

 

but I can't promise anything. '"

 

And Cartwright goes.

 

What do you think?
Gripping. It's not Jane Austen,

 

it's not Henry James,
but it's… gripping.

 

- Think I should do Henry James instead?
- You would be brilliant,

 

but this writer--
writers-- they're pretty damn good too.

 

You never get anyone
on Wings of the Dove saying,

 

"Inform the Pentagon
we need Black Star cover."

 

For me the book
is the poorer for it.

 

I can't believe
you have that picture.

 

You like Chagall?

 

I do. It feels like
how love should be--

 

floating through
a dark blue sky.

 

With a goat,
playing a violin.

 

Well, yes.

 

Happiness isn't happiness
without a violin-playing goat.

 

You have big feet.

 

Yes.
Yes, always have had.

 

You know what they say
about men with big feet.

 

No.
What's that?

 

Uh, big feet,

 

large… shoes.

 

The thing that is so irritating
is that now I'm so fierce
when it comes to nudity clauses.

 

You actually have…
clauses in your contract about nudity?

 

Definitely. "You may show the
dent of the top of the artist's
buttocks, but neither cheek."

 

Or if there's
a stunt bottom being used…

 

"artist must have
full consultation."

 

- You have a stunt bottom?
- I could have…

 

a stunt bottom, yes.
Are people tempted to go for…

 

better bottoms than their own?
Yeah.

 

I mean, I would.
This is important stuff.

 

It's one hell of a job,
isn't it? What do you put on your passport?

 

"Profession:
Mel Gibson's bottom."

 

Actually, Mel does
his own ass work.

 

Right.
Why wouldn't he?

 

- Absolutely.
- It's delicious.

 

The ice cream
or Mel Gibson's bottom?

 

Both. Equally.

 

But you wouldn't
necessarily lick both?

 

Well, this is tart.

 

And fuzz-free.

 

And, uh--

 

Bedroom.
There's clean sheets.

 

Today's been a good day,

 

which in the circumstances is…
unexpected.

 

Thank you.

 

Anyway, um,

 

time for bed.

 

Or sofa bed.

 

Good night.

 

Good night.

 

Oh, my God.

 

Hello?

 

Hello.

 

- Spike.
- I wonder if I could have a little word.

 

- Right.
- I don't want to interfere or nothin',

 

but she's just split up
from her boyfriend, right?

 

- Maybe.
- And she's in your house.

 

- Yes.
- And you get on very well.

 

- Yes.
- Well, isn't this, perhaps,

 

a nice opportunity to…

 

slip her one.

 

Spike, for God's sakes.
She's in trouble. Get a grip.

 

You think it's the wrong moment.
Fair enough.

 

- Do you mind if I have a go?
- Spike!

 

- Okay.
- I'll talk to you in the morning.

 

Okay. Might be too late,
but okay.

 

Please, sod off.

 

- Okay. All right.
- No. No, no!

 

Wait! I thought you were,
um, someone else.

 

I thought you were Spike.
I'm thrilled that you're not.

 

Wow.

 

What?

 

Nothing.

 

It does strike me as,

 

well, surreal that I'm allowed
to see you naked.

 

- You and every person in this country.
- I'm sorry.

 

What is it about men
and nudity, huh?

 

Particularly breasts.

 

How can you be so interested in them?
Well--

 

But, seriously,
they're just breasts.

 

Every second person
in the world has them.

 

More than that, actually,
when you think about it.
Meat Loaf has a very nice pair.

 

But they're odd-looking.

 

They're for milk.
Your mother has them.

 

You've seen a thousand of them.
What's all the fuss about?

 

Actually, I can't think
what it is, really.

 

Let me just have
a quick look.

 

Nope, nope.
Beats me.

 

Rita Hayworth
used to say,

 

"They go to bed with Gilda,
they wake up with me."

 

Who was Gilda?
Her most famous part.

 

Men went to bed
with the dream,

 

and they didn't like it when
they woke up with the reality.

 

Do you feel that way?

 

You are lovelier this morning
than you have ever been.

 

I'll be right back.

 

Breakfast in bed.

 

Oh.
Or it's brunch or lunch or something.

 

My God.

 

Can I stay
a bit longer?

 

Stay forever.

 

Okay. Oh.
Forgot the jam.

 

I'll get the jam,
you get the door.

 

Jesus Christ.

 

What?

 

What is it?

 

Nothing, really.
You're up to something.

 

Anna, no, please!

 

My God. And they got a picture of you
dressed like that.

 

Yes.

 

Undressed like this,
yeah.

 

Morning, darling ones.
It's me.
The press are here.

 

No, there are
hundreds of them.

 

My brilliant plan was not so brilliant.
I know.

 

I know. I know.
Just get over here.

 

Damn it.

 

Um, I wouldn't go outside.
Why not?

 

Just take my word
for it.
Oh.

 

How did I look?
Not bad.

 

Not at all bad.
Well-chosen briefs, I'd say.

 

Chicks love gray.

 

Nice firm buttocks.

 

How are you doing?

 

How do you think
I'm doing?

 

I don't know what happened.
I do.

 

Your furry friend thought he'd make a buck
or two telling the papers where I was.

 

That's not true.
Really? The entire British
press got up this morning…

 

and thought,
"I know where Anna Scott is.

 

She's in that house
with the blue door in Notting Hill."

 

Then you go out
in your goddamn underwear!

 

I went out in my goddamn underwear too.
Get out!

 

Sorry.

 

I'm so sorry.
This is such an unbelievable mess.

 

I come to you to protect myself
against more crappy gossip,

 

and now I've landed in it
all over again.

 

For God's sake,
I've got a boyfriend!

 

You have? As far as they're concerned
I do. Yes.

 

And now, tomorrow,
there'll be pictures of you…

 

in every newspaper
from here to Timbuktu!

 

I know that, but…

 

just let's stay calm.
You can stay calm!

 

This is a perfect situation
for you, isn't it?

 

Minimum input,
maximum publicity.

 

Everywhere you go, people
will say, "Well done, you.

 

You slept with that actress.
We saw the pictures."

 

That is spectacularly unfair.
That's yours.

 

Maybe it'll even help business.
Buy a boring book about Egypt…

 

from the guy that screwed
Anna Scott. Stop!

 

Stop!
I beg you!

 

Calm down.
How about a cup of tea?

 

I don't want
a goddamn cup of tea.

 

I just wanna go home.

 

Spike, see who that is,
and put some clothes on, for God's sake.

 

Looks like a chauffeur to me.

 

Spike owes you
an expensive dinner or holiday,

 

depending who's got the brains
to get the going rate on betrayal.

 

That is not true.
Wait a minute.

 

This is crazy behavior.

 

Can't we just
laugh about all this?

 

Seriously. In the huge sweep of things,
this stuff doesn't matter.

 

What he's gonna say next is
there's people starving in the Sudan.

 

There are! We don't have
to go anywhere near that far.

 

My best friend slipped down stairs,
cracked her back…

 

and she's in a wheelchair
for the rest of her life.

 

All I'm asking for is
a normal amount of perspective.

 

You're right.
Of course, you're right.

 

It's just that I've dealt with this garbage
for ten years.

 

You've had it
for ten minutes.

 

Our perspectives
are very different.

 

Today's newspapers will be lining
tomorrow's wastepaper bin.

 

Excuse me?
You know.

 

It's just one day.

 

Tomorrow, today's papers
will all have been thrown out.

 

You really don't get it.

 

This story will be filed.

 

Every time anyone writes anything about me,
they'll dig up these photos.

 

Newspapers last forever.

 

I'll regret this forever.

 

Right.

 

Right.

 

I will feel the opposite,

 

if that's okay by you,
and, uh,

 

always be glad that you…
came to stay.

 

But, um,
you're probably right.

 

You better go.

 

Was it you?

 

I may have told a few people
down in the pub.

 

Right.

 

♪ Ain't no sunshine
when she's gone ♪

 

♪ It's not warm
when she's away ♪

 

♪ Ain't no sunshine
when she's gone ♪

 

♪ And she's always
gone too long ♪

 

♪ Anytime she goes away ♪

 

♪ Ain't no sunshine
when she's gone ♪

 

♪ It's not warm
when she's away ♪

 

♪ Ain't no sunshine
when she's gone ♪

 

♪ And she's always
gone too long ♪

 

♪ Anytime she goes away ♪

 

♪ Wonder this time
where she's gone ♪

 

♪ Wonder if she's gone to stay ♪

 

♪ Ain't no sunshine
when she's gone ♪

 

♪ And this house
just ain't no home ♪

 

♪ Anytime she goes away ♪

 

♪ Ain't no sunshine
when she's gone ♪

 

♪ And this house
just ain't no home ♪

 

♪ Anytime she goes away ♪

 

♪ Anytime she goes away ♪

 

♪ Anytime she goes away ♪

 

♪ Anytime she goes away ♪♪

 

Have I got something for you. Something
which will make you love me so much,

 

you will want to hug me every day
for the rest of my life.

 

Blimey.
What is it?

 

Phone number of Anna Scott's agent
in London…

 

and her agent in New York.

 

Listen, you think about her all the time.
Now you can ring her.

 

Yeah. Brilliant.
Thanks.

 

I'll see you tonight.
Hey, Marty. Ooh! Sexy cardi.

 

Shh! Hello! I have
a little speech to make.

 

I won't stand up because
I can't… be bothered.

 

Exactly a year ago today,
this man here started
the finest restaurant in London.

 

Hear, hear.
Thank you very much.

 

Unfortunately, no one
ever came to eat here.

 

It's a tiny hiccup.

 

And so we have to face
the fact that from next week,

 

we must find
somewhere new to eat.

 

I just want to say to Tony,
don't take it personally.

 

The more I think about things,
the more I see no rhyme or reason in life.

 

No one knows why some things
work out and some things don't.

 

Why some of us get lucky
and some of us--

 

- Get fired.
- What?

 

- No!
- Yeah, well, it seems they're
shifting the whole outfit…

 

much more towards
the emerging markets.

 

And, of course, well,
I was total crap, so--

 

A toast to Bernie, the worst
stockbroker in the whole world.

 

I thank you. And Tony,
the worst restaurateur.

 

Tony and Bernie. Both crap…
The terrible two.

 

in their own special ways.

 

Since it's an evening
of announcements,

 

uh, I've also got one.

 

Um, I've decided
to get engaged.

 

I've found myself a nice,
slightly odd-looking bloke…

 

who I know is gonna make me
happy for the rest of my life.

 

Wait a sec.
I mean, I--

 

I'm your brother.
I don't know anything about this. Is he--

 

Is he financially viable?

 

He's an artist…
with brilliant prospects.

 

- This is a secret you've
been keeping from me.
- No, I swear!

 

By the way, it's you.

 

Me?
What do you think?

 

Well, yeah.

 

Groovy.

 

Excuse me. Are there
any more announcements?

 

Well, actually, yes.

 

I feel I should apologize to everyone…

 

for my behavior
over the last six months.

 

I have, as you know,
been somewhat down in the mouth.

 

There's an understatement.
There are dead people on better form.

 

But I just wish to make it clear
that I've turned a corner,

 

and, um, henceforward intend
to be impressively happy.

 

♪ Without a love
of my own ♪

 

♪ Blue moon ♪
♪ Ba-boom, ba-boom ♪

 

♪ You knew just what
I was there for ♪

 

Oh, God.
I'm horribly drunk.

 

♪ You heard me saying
a prayer for ♪

 

Come here.
♪ Ba-boom, ba-boom ♪

 

♪ Someone I really
could care for ♪

 

So you've laid the ghost?
♪ Wah, wah, wah, wah ♪

 

I believe I have.
Don't give a damn about the famous girl?

 

No. No,
I don't think I do.

 

Which means you won't be distracted by
the fact that she's back in London…

 

grasping her Oscar and
currently to be found filming,
most days, on Hampstead Heath.

 

Oh, God, no.

 

So not over her,
in fact.

 

Can I help you?
Yeah, I'm, um--

 

I'm looking for Anna Scott.
Does she know you're coming?

 

No. No, uh,
she doesn't.

 

I'm afraid I can't
let you through, sir.
Right.

 

I mean, I am actually a friend.
I'm not a lunatic, but--

 

No, you basically, er--
Can't let you through, sir.

 

Well, this is--
I only found out you were here yesterday.

 

I was going to call, but I--
Uh, Anna.

 

Yes. Um--

 

Things aren't going very well,
and it's our last day.

 

Absolutely, yeah.
You're clearly very busy.

 

But if--
if you could wait,

 

there are… things to say.

 

Okay.

 

Drink tea.
There's lots of tea.

 

Come and have a look.

 

Are you a fan of Henry James?

 

This is a Henry James film?
Yeah.

 

This is, uh, Harry.

 

He'll give you a pair of headphones
so you can hear the dialogue.

 

Thank you very much.
No problem.

 

Hi.
Hi. Here we go.

 

Volume's on the side.
There. Have a seat. Thank you.

 

We are living
in cloud cuckoo land.

 

We'll never get this done today.
We've got to. I have
to be in New York on Thursday.

 

Oh, stop showing off.
God, that's an enormous ass.

 

I'm not listening. But seriously,
it's not fair.

 

So many tragic young teenagers
with anorexia,

 

and that girl has an ass
she could perfectly well share around…

 

with at least ten other women
and still be big-bottomed.

 

I would think, looking at
something nice like that,

 

you and your…
bony little excuse for an arse…

 

would be well advised
to keep quiet.

 

Now down to business.
The end of the scene.

 

Um, I ask you when you're
telling everyone, and you say--

 

Um, tomorrow
will be soon enough.

 

And then I--
Right. Okay.

 

Say, who was that rather diffident chap
I saw you talking to round the back?

 

No one.

 

Just some guy
from the past. I--

 

It's a bit of an awkward situation, really.
I don't know what he's doing here.

 

'Course.

 

Thanks.
I've got to, um--

 

Any time.

 

Ladies and gentlemen, can we
have you on your first marks?

 

On your first marks!

 

Uh, I-I do hate to disturb you
whilst you're cooking the books,

 

but, uh, there's a delivery
for you.

 

Martin, really.
Can't you just do it yourself?

 

N-- But you see, this is not for the shop.
This is for you.

 

Right. Okay. Tell me.
If I employ a wet rag,

 

would I have to pay it
as much as I pay you?

 

Hi.

 

Hello.
You disappeared.

 

Yeah. Yeah. Um--

 

I had to leave.
I didn't want to disturb.

 

How have you been?
Fine, fine.

 

Everything much the same.
When they change the law,

 

Spike and I
will marry immediately.

 

Whereas you,
I've watched in wonder.

 

Awards, glory.
Oh, no.

 

It's-- It's all nonsense,
believe me.

 

I'd no idea how much nonsense
it was, but…

 

nonsense it all is.

 

Well, um--

 

Yesterday was our last day
of filming, so… I'm leaving.

 

But, um--

 

I brought this for you
from home,

 

so I thought
I'd give it to you.

 

Thank you.

 

Shall I--

 

Oh, no, don't open it now.
I'll be embarrassed.

 

Well, thank you. I don't know what it's for,
but thanks anyway.

 

Actually, I had it in my apartment,
and I thought you'd--

 

But when it came to it,
I didn't know how to call,

 

having behaved so badly.

 

Twice.

 

So it's just been
sitting in the hotel.

 

Then you came and…
Ifigured--

 

The thing is--

 

The thing is--

 

What?
What is the thing?

 

Don't even think about it.
Go away immediately.

 

- Go away.
- Right.

 

Sorry.

 

You were saying?

 

Yes.

 

I have to go away today,
but I…

 

wondered if I didn't…

 

whether you might let me
see you a little,

 

or… a lot, maybe.

 

See if you could like me again.

 

But yesterday that actor
asked you who I was, and you
just dismissed me out of hand.

 

I heard.

 

You had a microphone.
I had headphones.

 

You expect me to tell the truth about my life
to the most indiscreet man in England?

 

Uh, excuse me.

 

It's your mother
on the phone.

 

Will you tell her
I'll ring her back?

 

I've actually tried that tack,
but she said you've said that once before,

 

and it's now been
about 24 hours…

 

and the foot that was purple
is now sort of blackish in color and--

 

Right, right. Yeah.
Perfect timing, as ever.

 

Martin, hold the fort
a second.

 

Uh, yes. All right.

 

Um, could I just say--

 

I thought Ghost
was the most wonderful film.

 

- Is that right?
- Oh, yes.

 

Um, I've always wondered…

 

what Patrick Swayze's like
in-- in-- in real life.

 

I can't say that I know Patrick
all that well.

 

He wasn't that friendly
during filming?

 

Well, I'm sure he was friendly to Demi Moore,
who acted with him in Ghost.

 

Oh. Oh, right.

 

Sorry.

 

Always been a bit of an ass.

 

Um, anyway-- Um--

 

Well, it was lovely
to meet you.

 

I'm a huge, huge fan
of yours.

 

And Demi's, of course.

 

Sorry about that.

 

That's fine.

 

There's always a pause when the jury
goes out to consider their verdict.

 

Anna, look, um--

 

I'm a fairly
levelheaded bloke,

 

not often
in and out of love.

 

But, uh--

 

Can I just say no
to your…

 

kind request and,
uh, leave it at that?

 

Yes.

 

Fine. Of course. I--

 

Of course.

 

I'll just be going, then.
It was nice to see you.

 

The thing is,

 

with you
I'm in real… danger.

 

It seems like a…
perfect situation,

 

apart from that
foul temper of yours, but…

 

my relatively inexperienced
heart would, I fear, not…

 

recover, uh, if I was…

 

once again cast aside,
as I would absolutely expect to be.

 

There are just too many pictures
of you, too many films.

 

You'd go and I'd be, uh,

 

well, buggered, basically.

 

That really is a real no,
isn't it?

 

I live in Notting Hill.
You live in… Beverly Hills.

 

Everyone in the world
knows who you are.

 

My mother has trouble
remembering my name.

 

Fine.

 

Fine. Good decision.
Good decision.

 

The fame thing isn't
really real, you know.

 

And don't forget I'm--

 

I'm also just a girl…

 

standing in front of a boy…

 

asking him to love her.

 

Good-bye.

 

So what do you think?
Good move?

 

Yeah, good move.

 

I mean, when all's said
and done, she's nothing special.

 

I saw her taking her trousers
down, and I definitely glimpsed
some cellulite down there.

 

Good decision, yeah.

 

All actresses
are as mad as snakes.

 

- Tones, what do you reckon?
- Never met her, never want to.

 

- Brilliant. Max?
- Absolutely. Never trust a vegetarian.

 

Great. Thanks. Brilliant.

 

I was called and I came.
What's up?

 

William's just
turned down Anna Scott.

 

You daft prick.

 

No, no. No, no, it's
actually quite sensible.

 

That painting
isn't the original, is it?

 

Um, you know, I think
it might be, yeah.

 

But she said she wanted
to go out with you.

 

- Yeah.
- Well, that's nice.

 

What?

 

Well, you know,

 

anyone saying they wanna go out with you
is pretty great, isn't it?

 

It was…

 

sort of…
sweet, actually.

 

Um, I mean, I know
she's an actress and all that…

 

so she can…
deliver a line, but, um,

 

she said she might be
as famous as can be,

 

but also that she was…

 

just a girl…

 

standing in front of a boy…

 

asking him…
to love her.

 

Oh, sod a dog. I've made
the wrong decision, haven't I?

 

Yeah.

 

Max, how fast is your car?

 

♪ Hey ♪

 

- Good luck!
- If anyone gets in our way,
we have small nuclear devices.

 

Where to?
All I can think is The Ritz.

 

Where's Bella?
She's not coming.

 

Oh, sod that.
Bernie, in the back.
What?

 

♪ So glad you made it ♪
Max, I'm okay.

 

♪ So glad you made it ♪
Come on, babe.

 

♪ You gotta gimme some lovin'♪

 

♪ Gimme, gimme
some lovin'♪

 

♪ Gimme some lovin'♪
♪ Gimme, gimme
some lovin'♪

 

♪ Gimme some lovin'♪
Which way are you going?

 

Down Kensington Church Street,
then Knightsbridge,
then Hyde Park Corner.

 

- No, crazy. Go along Bayswater.
- That's right. Then Park Lane.

 

No, straight down to the
Cromwell Road, then left.

 

No!

 

Stop right there!
I will decide the route. All right?

 

Sorry, Max.

 

♪ Hey ♪
James Bond never has to put up
with this sort of shit.

 

♪ Well, I feel so good
Everything is soundin'hot ♪

 

♪ You better take it easy
'cause the place is on fire ♪

 

Turn right!

 

I can't. It's one way.
Oh, sod it. Do a U-turn.

 

♪ So glad you made it ♪

 

Brilliant!

 

♪ Gimme, gimme some lovin'♪
♪ Gimme some lovin'♪

 

♪ Gimme, gimme
some lovin'♪

 

♪ Gimme some lovin' every day ♪
Bloody hell, this is fun!

 

♪ Hey ♪♪
Sorry.

 

Hi.
Is Miss Scott staying here?

 

- No, sir.
- How 'bout Miss Flintstone?

 

- No, sir.
- Uh, Bambi?

 

- No, sir.
- Or, um--

 

I don't know.
Beavis or Butt-head?

 

No, sir.

 

Thanks. Thanks.

 

There was a Miss Pocahontas,

 

but she checked out
about an hour ago.

 

I believe she's holding
a press conference at the Savoy…

 

before flying to America.

 

We have liftoff.

 

You have message
for Takiama?

 

I'll just check, sir.

 

♪ Gimme some lovin'♪
♪ Gimme, gimme some lovin'♪

 

♪ Gimme some lovin' every day ♪♪

 

Bugger this
for a bunch of bananas.

 

Stop! Stop! Stop!
Stay there! Go! Go!

 

Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hang on!

 

Come on! No! Wait there!

 

Come on! Come on!
Wait!

 

Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Go on! Through, through!

 

You're my hero!

 

Whoa! Down boy.

 

♪ Everybody should
And I'm ♪

 

♪ So glad we made it ♪

 

♪ Hey, hey
So glad we made it ♪

 

♪ You gotta gimme some lovin'♪

 

♪ Gimme, gimme some lovin'♪
♪ Gimme some lovin'♪

 

♪ Gimme, gimme some lovin'♪
♪ Gimme some lovin'♪

 

♪ Gimme, gimme some lovin'♪

 

♪ Gimme, gimme some lovin'♪♪
Excuse me.

 

Yes?
Where's the press conference, please?

 

Are you an accredited member of the press?
Yep.

 

There you go. That's a Blockbuster Video
membership card, sir.

 

That's right.
I work for their in-house magazine.

 

Movies Are Our Business.
I'm sorry, sir.

 

- He's with me.
- And you are?

 

Writing an article on how
London hotels treat people in wheelchairs.

 

Yes, of course, madam.
It's in the Lancaster Room,

 

though I'm afraid
you're rather late.

 

Run!

 

Does this mean that Miss Scott will not
be publicizing her next film?

 

No, it absolutely
does not mean that.

 

She'll be abiding by
all her present commitments.

 

Shejust won't be making
any more for the next year.

 

When will the film be released?

 

At the moment, the plan is
to release in America…

 

towards the end
of the autumn, and…

 

over here around Christmas
or early in the new year.

 

Right! Dominic.

 

Anna, how much longer are you
staying in the U.K., then?

 

No time at all.
I leave tonight.

 

Which is why we have to
round things up now,
so final questions, please.

 

Yes. Lady there.

 

Is your decision to take
a year off anything to do…

 

with the rumors about Jeff
and his present leading lady?

 

- Absolutely not.
- Do you believe the rumors?

 

Well, it's really
not my business anymore.

 

Though I will say,
from my experience, rumors
about Jeff do tend to be true.

 

Yeah. The last time you were here,
there were some fairly graphic…

 

photographs taken of you
with a young English guy.

 

So, uh,
what happened there?

 

He was just a friend.
We're still friends, I think.

 

Right, um--

 

Yes. Gentleman
in the pink shirt.

 

Yes. Miss Scott,

 

are there any circumstances
in which…

 

the two of you…

 

might be more than
just good friends?

 

I hoped there would be, but, no, I'm…
assured there aren't.

 

- But what would you say if--
- I'm sorry. Just the one question, please.

 

No, it's all right.
You were saying?

 

I was just wondering if, uh,

 

it turned out
that this person, uh--

 

Thacker. His name was Thacker.

 

Thanks, thanks.

 

I just wondered whether if…

 

Mr. Thacker realized
he'd been… a daft prick…

 

and got down on his knees and…
begged you to reconsider,

 

whether you would,
in fact, then…

 

reconsider?

 

Yes, I believe I would.

 

That's very good news.
Um--

 

The readers of Horse & Hound
will be absolutely delighted.

 

Right. Uh, Dominic,
if you'd like to ask your question again?

 

Yeah? Anna, how long are you intending
to stay here in Britain?

 

Indefinitely.

 

♪♪

 

♪ She may be the face
I can't forget ♪

 

♪ The trace of pleasure
or regret ♪

 

♪ May be my treasure
or the price I have to pay ♪

 

-♪ She may be the song that ♪
- What happened?

 

♪ Summer sings ♪
It was good.

 

♪ May be the chill
that autumn brings ♪

 

♪ May be a hundred
different things ♪

 

♪ Within the measure of a day ♪

 

♪ She may be the beauty
or the beast ♪

 

♪ May be the famine
or the feast ♪

 

♪ May turn each day
into a heaven or a hell ♪

 

♪ She may be the mirror
of my dream ♪

 

♪ The smile reflected
in a stream ♪

 

♪ She may not be
what she may seem ♪

 

♪ Inside her shell ♪

 

♪ She who always seems
so happy in a crowd ♪

 

♪ Whose eyes can be
so private and so proud ♪

 

♪ No one's allowed
to see them ♪

 

♪ When they cry ♪

 

♪ She may be the love
that cannot hope to last ♪

 

♪ May come to me
from shadows of the past ♪

 

♪ That I remember
till the day I die ♪

 

♪ She may be the reason
I survive ♪

 

♪ The why and wherefore
I'm alive ♪

 

♪ The one I'll care for
through the rough ♪

 

♪ And ready years ♪

 

♪ Me, I'll take her laughter
and her tears ♪

 

♪ And make them
all my souvenirs ♪

 

♪ For where she goes
I've got to be ♪

 

♪ The meaning of my life is ♪

 

♪ She ♪

 

♪ She ♪

 

♪ Oh, she ♪♪

 

♪♪

 

♪ It's in the way you are ♪

 

♪ You've got a way with me ♪

 

♪ Somehow you got me
to believe ♪

 

♪ In everything
that I could be ♪

 

♪ I gotta say ♪

 

♪ You really got a way ♪

 

♪ It's in the way you want me ♪

 

♪ It's in the way you hold me ♪

 

♪ The way you show me
just what love's ♪

 

♪ Made of ♪

 

♪ It's in the way we make love ♪

 

♪ Oh, how I adore you ♪

 

♪ Like no one before you ♪

 

♪ I love you
just the way you are ♪

 

♪ It's in the way you want me ♪

 

♪ Oh, it's in the way
you hold me ♪

 

♪ The way you show me
just what love's ♪

 

♪ Made of ♪

 

♪ It's in the way we make love ♪

 

♪ It's just the way you are ♪♪

 

♪♪

 

♪ No matter what they tell us ♪

 

♪ No matter what they do ♪

 

♪ No matter what they teach us ♪

 

♪ What we believe is true ♪

 

♪ I can't deny what I believe ♪

 

♪ I can't be what I'm not ♪

 

♪ I know our love ♪
♪ I know our love's forever ♪

 

♪ I know ♪
♪ I know no matter what ♪

 

♪ No matter who they follow ♪

 

♪ No matter where they've been ♪

 

♪ No matter how they judge us ♪

 

♪ I'll be everyone you need ♪

 

♪ I can't deny what I believe ♪
♪ What I believe ♪

 

♪ I can't be what I'm not ♪

 

♪ I know I'm not ♪

 

♪ I know this love's forever ♪

 

♪ That's all that matters now
no matter what ♪

 

♪ No, no matter what ♪
♪ No, no matter ♪

 

♪ That's all that matters
to me ♪
♪ No, no matter what ♪

 

♪ No, no matter ♪

 

♪ That's all that matters
to me ♪
♪ No, no matter what ♪

 

♪ No, no matter what ♪

 

♪ That's all that matters
to me ♪
♪ No, no matter what ♪

 

♪ No, no matter what ♪

 

♪ That's all that matters
to me ♪
♪ No, no matter what ♪

 

♪ No, no matter what ♪

 

♪ That's all that matters
to me ♪♪